The Secrets We Must Keep
by Cop Chick
Summary: When a new Detective is hired by Captain Cragen, Olivia hates her but why? What links her to Olivia and how Olivia deal with her past when it all comes crashing down?
1. The New Detective

Hey everyone, this is my first shot at a SVU fic I just started watching it last summer and began to just fall in love with the show. It's even more interesting cause for the last two years I've been taking post secondary to become a cop so I actually understand everything they're talking about with out them explaining it.

Anyway please let me know what you think the chapters should come up pretty quickly because I have already written most of it. Enjoy

**I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of their characters.**

A woman walked into the room, Olivia, Elliot, and Fin had just started their shift. She walked up to Elliot, "Hi, is this Special victims unit?" Elliot looked up.

"Yeah, you looking for someone?" He asked wondering who this was; he'd never seen her before. She had long dark brown hair with copper streaks. She was a little bit shorter than himself, but by the way she carried herself and the firmed and toned muscles that looked strong, he was pretty sure she wasn't here to report any crime done to her. As she looked like she was about to respond Captain Cragen walked in.

"Lisa Madow, I see you're introducing your self. Everyone I'd like you to meet the newest member of our team Lisa Madow she comes from the Concord Police department. She handled some of the Sexual assault cases from there so she has some experience."

"Why do we need someone else?" Olivia took a step forward, "we're doing fine we're keeping up with our cases."

"That's just it, we're falling behind, unless the case is high profile we can't get to it right away." Cragen responded firmly. "Once she is trained we'll be able to go through more cases."

"Captain we are doing fine we don't need her." Olivia responded frustrated.

"I'm still in the room." Lisa stated looking annoyed at Olivia.

"She's staying Olivia," Cragen gave her firm look before turning to Lisa. "Fin, John will be gone for today, I'd like you to get her introduced to things around here. The police are coming by with a victim, she's going to go to the hospital for a rape kit then I want you and Lisa to interview her," he gave as a final note before heading into his Office. Olivia and Elliot headed out on a follow up from a previous case, Olivia turned to Elliot as they were getting into the car.

"I don't like her Elliot." She stated with a contemplating look on her face.

"Why, you just met her?" he laughed lightly, "don't worry Liv you'll still be the best girl on the team." She looked at him and rolled her eyes frustrated.

"That's not what I'm worried about, I don't know I just have a gut feeling about her that I don't like." Elliot shrugged his shoulders, Olivia could be little bit paranoid sometimes, at first he honestly thought that'd she'd gotten used to being the only female on the team. This girl looked like a younger but taller version of Olivia, he bet Fin thought the same thing when Liv started objecting to the new arrival.

Back in the station Fin was showing Lisa her locker, the interviewing room and other areas in the precinct waiting for the girl to be done at the hospital it seemed to be taking a while so Lisa thought she'd ask Fin.

"Why does Olivia not like me?" a perplexed look on her face.

"It might take her a while to get used to you, when I replaced one of the old detectives it took them a while to warm up to me." Fin replied wondering himself why Olivia showed such hostility towards the new detective. She seemed nice enough to him, she wasn't shy but she wasn't trying to be intimidating either, he thought she was pretty easy to get along with. She looked like she was about to ask another question, when an officer and the girl came out into the hallway. Fin and Lisa took the girl to a more private and comfortable area. The two had already decided that Lisa was going to start the interview, as she had done some before, but for Fin to step in should she forget something.

"Hi I'm Lisa and this is detective Tutuola, what your name?" Lisa asked with a compassionate look on her face.

"I'm Natalie," she said looking down and folding her hands in her lap, keeping a watchful eye on Fin.

"Will you tell us what happened?" Lisa asked with a soft voice so as not to surprise her. Natalie started looking around the room each time stopping her gaze on Fin. He took the hint and said he had to leave.

"You'll think it's my fault," Natalie said ashamed avoiding any kind of eye contact.

"I promise I will not think this is your fault, because it's not." Natalie nodded in response. "Do you live here?" Lisa asked noticing the accent although slight was not American. The girl shook her head this time.

"Nein, I'm from Germany" letting her English slip a little bit.

"I see, are you traveling then?" a small knot tied in her stomach as the girl nodded her head. Swallowing the feeling she continued, "Do you know any body here?" the girl shook her head and looked as though she was about to cry. "It's ok," Lisa slowly put her hand on the table. "Would you like to call your family at home?" the girl again shook her head and sighed.

"Nein, noch nicht" Natalie sat there a moment then looked up, "Entshuldigung, I'm sorry, I meant..."

"Not yet, I understand, I took a little bit of German in University, I don't know a lot but I know the basics." Natalie smiled at Lisa. Lisa was able to take the statement and also find out why the girl was so cautious of Fin; Fin with only a verbal description was similar in race and features of the guy who attacked her. Most girls who are attacked are usually afraid of males in general which was Lisa's first guess, but this girl wasn't afraid of the male cop who brought her here, some girls, if the attacker wasn't of the same race, for a short period are only afraid of males within that specific race group. Lisa walked outside the interview room for a moment to grab the girl some water, and to talk to Fin. "Am I missing anything?" Lisa wondered not sure but thinking she'd gotten everything.

"Na, you were pretty good in there, you'll be a pro in no time." Lisa smiled and was about to turn away when he added, "I'll call a sketch artist ask him to come down." Lisa nodded and smiled again as she left to get the water.

On the way back Fin told her the sketch artist was on his way and to describe what it would be like to the girl. Lisa slowly opened the door and walked in the room to as not to make her jump, handed the girl her water. "Natalie, we have someone coming in to sketch the man that attacked you. You'll need to tell the sketch artist about the tattoo and any other distinct features you can remember. Although it may be painful the more detail you can remember of his face the faster we'll be able to find the man." Natalie nodded her head obviously understanding but not liking what was about to happen. "Then maybe after you'll be ready to talk to your family." Natalie smiled slightly and nodded.

"Will you stay with me?" Natalie said quietly.

"Of course I will, whatever you want," As soon as the artist showed up they began the painful process of remembering the face. Lisa hated this part the most because usually the more helpful the sketch is, the more accurate, and therefore more painful. Natalie hadn't cried yet, while taking the statement she was just quiet and upset which made this part even worse. One way Lisa could usually tell if the sketch was similar to the attacker was if the victim, once finished describing the sketch, and while taking a final look at it, broke down and started crying. As Lisa expected, much to her chagrin, Natalie began sobbing after looking at the final sketch. Soon after Natalie decided to call her family, she spoke with them for a little while, Don allowed her to use the phone in his office for some privacy, Lisa was able to pick up a little bit of what she was saying. The only other person in the room was Captain Don Cragen. At one point in the conversation Natalie asked.

"When can I go home?" Lisa looked to her Captain not sure of this one. Seeing her look Don spoke up.

"We'd like to keep you at least until tomorrow, and if we need you further after that we can organize something with the police near your home." Captain Cragen smiled assuring her, she smiled slightly more of relief than anything. She spoke on the phone a little bit longer asked for the number to the police station giving it to her family then hanging up.

"My parents are buying a plane ticket home they will try and book a flight between 5 and 8 the morning after tomorrow. Will that be alright?" her eyes looking at Lisa hoping, Lisa glanced at Don who was nodding.

"Yes, that will be fine." Lisa told her, Natalie smiled then another sad look crossed her face.

"May I apologize for being rude?" She looked at the Captain and Lisa sheepishly; both had a confused look on the face.

"You were never rude honey," Lisa stated confused.

"To detective Tutuola, I made him leave the room, he'll think I don't like him."

"He doesn't think that." Lisa tried to reassure, but Natalie persisted, they were walking out of the room to find Fin when Don's voice alerted their attention again.

"Natalie, I want you to know that even though you maybe going home tomorrow it doesn't mean this case is any less important. We will be investigating it as we would for any American." He smiled once more, concern still evident on his face, as the two women walked out of the office. Lisa saw Fin right away, he was sitting at his desk doing some paper work. Natalie saw him shortly after took a deep breath and walked straight to him.

"I'm sorry," the first thing she said to attract his attention. Fin looked up obviously being caught off guard.

"Sorry for what?" he asked, looking to Lisa then back to the girl. The girl felt much better after talking to Fin. The three had a little time to kill so Fin took the two to see a couple sights in New York the two detectives enjoyed seeing Natalie's eyes light up with curiosity, both secretly wondering why this had to happen to her.

"Olivia," Elliot called out trying to get her attention, she quickly walked into the room instantly wishing she hadn't. There was a young girl maybe 17 years old lying on the bed with her throat slit and her face so bloodied up you could barely tell where her puffy black eye ended and her petit nose began. Olivia looked at Elliot with a mixture of shock, disgust and sadness in her eyes. Then turned to leave the room until the ME gave them permission to search the body.

"Liver mortis is set, she hasn't been move since she was killed," Melinda Warner stood and walked over to the detectives finishing her notes. "Rigor mortis is beginning to show, I'd say she's been dead about 4 hours. She's all yours." Melinda finished as she left to finish her notes. The two detectives heard a commotion outside and a male voice yell 'what's going on?'

"I'll go," Elliot turned and headed out into the front of the house, Olivia nodded and went to check the body for I.D although with what she could hear from outside even if she couldn't find anything who ever was out there, probably her boyfriend, knew exactly who this pretty girl was. Finishing her look for any personal effects she nodded to the CSU team standing by and went out to see what was going on outside. She saw Elliot trying to talk to a guy who looked like he was trying hard to keep his composure.

"Who reported it?" Olivia questioned before Elliot could ask another question.

"The land lord she was late in paying the rent." Elliot answered flipping through his note pad to refresh his memory. On cases like this he always made sure to make note of everything because every intricate detail could mean the difference between a solved case and a cold one.

"Would you mind giving us a DNA sample, to exclude you right away?" Elliot asked as unthreatening as he could. The guy looked at him incredulously.

"You think I killed her?" he asked almost hysterical at the thought.

"No but if you have slept with her in the last day or so it will show." Olivia stated with a stern glare, the glare disappeared to confusion when the guy began laughing.

"I can guarantee you I haven't slept with her," she gave him an unbelieving look, "lady I'm gay, girls like you don't get my libido goin', now a man in uniform that's what I'm after." He said, his eyes glancing towards a younger cop. Elliot let a small smirk cross his face, and signaled for a CSU to come collect his DNA.

Few days later

"The jury just went in, I'd say a couple hours and we'll have an answer," Casey informed the detectives as she walked in looking at her watch.

"I thought the case was pretty straight forward, shouldn't it be less than that?" Casey nodded, obviously as irritated as Olivia.

"It should, except the defense had a really good closing statement, and not only does the jury have to decide whether she's guilty or not but also whether she's insane or not." Casey answered.

"What broke the case?" came a voice from behind them.

"Are those files talking?" John said sarcastically looking through the stacked files to Lisa. He'd met her on her second day here but she was busy with a German girl. After she was dropped off at the airport Cragen told Lisa to look at the cold files and she had been doing that the whole time.

"They're starting to, I swear much more and I'll go nuts." Lisa gave a tired smile and stood up to stretch.

"We all had to do it," Elliot laughed at the same time knowing how hard it was to look over those cases, not only were they depressing but he was trapped behind a desk his first week in SVU. "Our vics best friend gave us some DNA, turned out the two were twins separated in a nasty divorce, the mother of the two found out and blamed our vic for the fathers lack of child support and killed her. The two kids didn't even know they were brother and sister." Elliot explained, Lisa had been with Natalie while all this was going on so he didn't expect her to know.

"She left blood behind?" Lisa asked curious.

"It was almost untraceable but there was some sweat mixed in with the semen that she planted and we traced the sweat back to the boy because according to the girls record her mom was dead." Elliot clarified.

"How do you know she planted the semen and someone didn't plant her sweat?" asked going over the scenario in her head. Elliot, Fin and John nodded their heads, Olivia stayed quite.

"Thinking like a detective glad your on the team," Fin said honestly impressed by both the EQ and IQ the women displayed at a young age. Lisa smiled but was still looking for an answer.

"He's been dead for two years, that's how we know he didn't do it." Olivia spoke up, rather harshly. Everyone looked at her; she was treating Lisa like a perp they'd never seen Olivia act this way towards another cop or detective with out a reason. When they looked back at Lisa, she was looking at Olivia, the two had a staring contest that lasted about 10 seconds before a look of confusion crossed her face, her eyes lit up and she walked back to her desk. Fin and Munch shared looks, everyone knew Olivia didn't like the new girl, Lisa tried to avoid her, trying not to remain on her bad side, but at this moment it didn't seem to faze her, she was on a mission. The next thing they all knew she was going through the files on her desk grabbed one out of the stack walked over to the Captains office knocked and walked in.

Please leave a review, the more reviews I get the faster I'll put the next chapter up.


	2. The Cold Case

Hey every one thanks for the great reviews, it's always slightly nerve wracking when you first post a story, because you don't know if people will like it.

I changed that part from Nicole to Natalie in the first chapter, thanks for pointing that out. I also went through this chapter again to check for other grammar things it's not perfect but I'm not the strongest English student. Anyway I hope you enjoy.

**I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of their characters.**

"Captain?" Lisa asked as she stood in front of his desk file in hand.

"You found a file you'd like to take a shot at?" he asked, not noticing the speed with which she walked in.

"Yes," was her short but firm answer as she placed the file on his desk. He opened it up, and took a deep breath in when he saw the name.

"The file wasn't supposed to be in with that group. I don't want you working on it." He said flatly, closing the folder.

"I think I can solve it," Lisa protested.

"Olivia is already on unsteady terms with you, trying to solve her mothers case is not going to make you popular." Don sighed, no one, not even Elliot knew why Olivia was acting this way, he knew it would take some adjustment he was just surprised that it was Olivia taking the longest, he thought she'd appreciate another girl on the squad.

"Aren't we supposed to solve any case we believe we can solve?" Lisa asked, "please give me a chance." her eyes pleaded with him, she wanted to try and solve this case, if she didn't it would always be in her head. Don sighed once more contemplating; he closed the file and handed it to her.

"Do it, but keep it quiet. The reason for that case being there is most likely because she's looked at it recently. I want you checking in with me on any leads or questions and don't drop any names to any one, this is to stay quiet, you understand?" He sat there waiting for her to confirm, she nodded after thinking about what he was saying. "Ok, be careful my detectives are like a family, don't force me to transfer you." Lisa nodded once more realizing what she was getting into, took a deep breath and turned to leave.

"Thank you, for giving me a chance."

"Don't thank me yet," he told her and she opened the door and walked out.

As soon as she was back in the main office Fin walked up to her, "hey listen, Olivia just had a string of hard cases she gets a little worked up sometimes, we all do." Lisa smiled at the gesture.

"Thank you, I realize that but I'll wait for it to come from Olivia, when she's ready." Lisa told him as she walked out to start her case. She knew exactly where she was going to start. Walking into the evidence locker she opened the box matching the file. Looking through it she sighed, remembering the case was over 35 years old, there was no DNA in the rape kit. She read through the old case report and looked at the sketch that had been done. It was rough, she sighed, glad that the artists now were better. Although the paper was beginning to turn yellow she was able to make out distinct features.

After reading the reports she looked through the physical evidence, there wasn't a lot, she grabbed the bags of clothes hoping maybe the perp left some DNA behind that went unnoticed, then walked out, heading for CSU.

"I need an opinion, age this drawing 30 years, do you think it could be a match?" she asked the tech guy; she'd already been to the CSU lab and printed off a picture from the computer.

"If it doesn't I can run it and see who else matches it, just be aware that it is only 75 accurate." He told her nodding and scanning the picture, "I can have it done in a couple hours, I'll page you." He paused for a moment then held out his hand. "You're the new detective right?"

"Yeah, Lisa Madow, nice to meet you," putting out her hand to accept, he smiled.

"What case are you working on?" he asked turning back to his work.

"A special case, please keep it quiet," she told him quickly and walked out before he could say anything else.

Lisa was on her computer most of the day searching for background on Serena Benson, checking names, people she hung out with, then she went through her case file taking down everything she considered important. All of the groups and clubs she had been involved in, names she mentioned, anything. One club in particular stood out to her. It stood out the entire time, which is one of the reasons she took the case in the first place, New York's outdoors club. There was only one outdoors club with that symbol in all of New York.

A call from CSU brought her spirits both up and down, they found usable DNA on the clothes, but when they ran it though CODIS they didn't find a match. They asked if she wanted them to run it through the database for unsolved crimes. Asking them not to bother she said she'd be by with a sample to compare it to tomorrow. She sat in her desk stumped, she was sure the man she thought it was, had been in the database. Locking the file in her desk she headed home for the evening but not before making an appointment for tomorrow morning. She was going to prove she was right.

"Name?" the guard asked as she walked up to the desk.

"Lisa Madow SVU, I called yesterday," the man looked up, nodded and gave her the forms to fill out, then guided her to the visitors' area. The man sitting at the table recognized her immediately.

"Well, Lisa what a nice but early surprise." His smile made her feel uncomfortable, she put a cup of coffee on the table in front of him, took a sip of her own and sat down.

"I bought you coffee," she said flatly, "do you know Serena Benson?" getting to the point right away, the man put on a pondering face.

"Nope, should I?" he told her tilting his head to the side trying to look innocent.

"Yeah you raped her," he quickly put his up hands in defense.

"Oh no I didn't," he told her, she glared at him,

"Bull shit you didn't, just like you didn't rape Nicole Warner?" she glared her blood beginning to boil.

"I admitted guilt to that one and I'm serving my time," he told her sternly and took a sip of his coffee. "It's cold," She ignored his last statement not believing the first one, the two sat in silence as he downed the rest of his cold coffee.

"I'm going to prove that you did," Lisa stood up grabbing the cup from his hand and began walking out of the room.

"Go a head take my DNA from that cup it wont be a match." He yelled at her as she closed the door. As she was heading back to her car her cell phone rang.

"Detective Madow," she answered unlocking and starting her car. "Oh I'm not at the precinct I'm on the road, 25 matches all male? … well some are too young, listen I'm going to drop a DNA sample off at CSU and then I'll come by. …. Great bye." Closing her phone she turned up the music and started thinking.

Ten minutes of driving and she was walking into the lab. "I have something for you to compare against," she smiled walking in and handing her the cup in the Ziploc bag. The two spoke for a moment, Lisa made a point of telling her to keep the case quiet until it was figured out. When asked who her partner was Lisa smiled. "I don't have one yet but if you can't get a hold of me when you find your answer you can call Captain Cragen he'll let me know."

She went by to look at the pictures, she recognized two of the 25 they were exactly who she thought they would be, thanking him she printed off the pictures and headed back to the office to look into the others criminal records.

Sitting down and taking a breath she looked up the number for the New York outdoors club, "might as well try," she said to herself and dialed the number. "Ok thank you very much, your help is very much appreciated."

"You find a cold case to look over?" Elliot smiled walking up to her desk.

"Yeah, your jury come back with a verdict?" Lisa smiled back.

"Yeah guilty on all counts and perfectly sane. Casey does a good job for us." He smiled, she'd only met the ADA that one time and that was brief. Even so she seemed like a nice person.

"What case are you looking at?" Elliot questioned heading over to his desk,

"A rape case," Lisa answered quickly, Elliot looked back.

"Well I figured that, which case, I could give you my input on it." Lisa was lost for words.

"Elliot you wanted me to do a psyc exam on a suspect?" George Huang said as he walked into the office.

"Right, he wont be ready for another half hour or so, he's talking with his lawyer right now. Oh, George Huang this is," gesturing towards Lisa, but before he could finish his sentence he heard Huang.

"Lisa?" her eyes lit up obviously remembering him.

"Huang" she exclaimed, "How's it going? Since when do you work here?"

"I don't work here," he smiled kindly, "I work for the FBI." Lisa smiled back.

"I'm assuming you to know each other?" Elliot asked quite puzzled, he never would have put the two as friends.

"Yeah Huang was my TA slash tutor slash councilor and I think I was his pet project." Huang smiled most of that was true some had been made up, he had become a TA to help pay for his doctorate in Clinical Psychology.

"You were not my pet project." He said back with a smile though part of him said that, that statement was about more than she let on.

"Oh that's right, you wouldn't let me drop my double major in psyc for what reason then?"

"You were good at it, it just took you a while to realize it." Huang said it like it was obvious. "So you work here now?"

"Yeah, I'm the new detective, it's good to see you again."

"Lisa Madow in my office now," her smile faded and she bit her lip, George gave a look saying 'you've been here a couple days and you're already getting in trouble' she turned around quickly heading into his office, the Captain sounded anything but pleased.

"Yes sir,"

"I just got a call from the DNA lab apparently my new detective is acting strangely." Captain Cragen sighed, "please be careful here, you're treading on soft ground with this case." Lisa nodded, "on the other hand you've made it farther than any other cop has." Lisa gave him a confused look and waited for him to continue, "they ran the sample of DNA right away because they didn't know why you were acting strangely. It wasn't a match,"

"What how could it not be a match?" Lisa cut him off she was so completely sure it was him. She closed her mouth quickly when she saw his look, "sorry sir,"

"That's fine, as I was saying it wasn't a match but it's a member of his family there was seven of thirteen alleles in common, you just have to find a direct family member, a father, brother or son, get a hold of their DNA and compare it. You think you can do that?" Cragen asked admittedly quite impressed that this new detective had made it this far on a case that had stumped him and Elliot for years. Lisa nodded a concentrated look on her face.

Please review constructive criticism is welcome. I'll try and put the next chapter out by Tuesday.

Cop Chick


	3. One Bad First Week

Hey every one thanks again for the reviews, it really makes an author feel good to know others enjoy her story. This gives part of the explanation as to why Olivia doesn't like her but it will be explicitly said next chapter just cuz. Enjoy.

I do not own Law and Order: SVU 

Going back to her desk she was relived to see Elliot had left, he was nice to her, but the Captain had made it quite clear not to let any one know, and Elliot's helpfulness was making it difficult. She sat down and began typing on her computer; she didn't like what she found. She took down some final notes locked the file in her desk and was off to have dinner at her dads' house. Tomorrow she was going to prove that computer wrong.

Walking up four flights of stairs she knocked on door 412, when a man answered she jumped up and threw her arms around him. "Daddy," she cried as he laughed and embraced her.

"Hey to you too," he said releasing her and guiding her over to a martini he had just made.

"Ok, you've convinced me," she smiled sitting down beside the martini and taking a sip. "I'll only have the one though, I have to drive home and work early tomorrow morning."

"How is the new squad?" he questioned setting a steaming plate in front of her then sitting down himself.

"It'll take some adjustment, I miss the guys from my old squad though, the only women in the new squad doesn't like me a whole lot."

"Why don't you move back, you didn't have to move to New York," he told her taking a bite of pasta.

"I did it to take care of you, you're getting older and living in Concord meant I was a 5 hour drive away, living here means I can see you more," she sighed, "and besides there was no place to grow inside CPD, I've wanted to join a specialized unit for a long time you know that." He smiled, when Lisa put her head to something she went through with it, seven years ago she began school with the idea of becoming a sex crimes detective, he didn't like it but she was passionate about it.

"But you're still just a kid," he smiled knowing that would get a jolt out of her.

"I'm not a kid dad I'm 25, I maybe younger than the other detectives but that doesn't mean anything."

"It means you have to be careful, I'm not outliving my daughter." He said, the first stern look in his eye appeared. Lisa managed to change the subject she didn't want to fight, her dad had always been protective of her, it killed him that she took a job that put herself in danger a lot of the time, on the other hand he knew she was passionate about it and wanted to see his only daughter happy.

The morning came too soon. Walking into the precinct she realized she was the first one there, she made a cup of coffee and sat down just as Fin and John walked in.

"Have you been working on a case?" John asked pouring himself some coffee, "you've been running around the last couple days."

"Yeah, I think I actually maybe getting close to solving an old case." She smiled, fiddling with some paper on her desk.

"Oh yeah which one is it?" Fin asked settling himself in his desk; it had been slow the last few days for them so they had been catching up on paper work. Thinking for a moment she responded.

"I'll let you know when I solve it,"

"A cocky one, thinks she can solve her first case." Munch teased.

"Why the secret?" Fin asked, just as her phone rang, 'god am I lucky' she thought to herself as she answered.

"Offic…Detective Madow," she was still getting used to calling herself a detective. "Oh hello, … you do? … Really? that's very helpful, … that'd be great, could I come by and pick it up right now? … Sure I'll be there in a couple of minutes, bye" This was a lot better than she'd expected, she got up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Fin asked, her secrecy beginning to put him on edge. Elliot had told them about how she had been avoiding answering what case she was on and it sent up red flags to all of them.

"The New York's outdoors club, they have a list for me," she answered honestly as she left the building.

"No this is great, I hadn't expected you to still have it." Lisa told the young women accepting the papers.

"It took a bit of digging but with it being winter, I had some time," she laughed, "can I ask what the case is about,"

"I can't disclose anything about the case," the women nodded understanding.

"Well if you need anything else just give me a call, I'm happy to help." Lisa smiled at her.

"I will, thank you," she walked back into the car and began to look over the pages of names, she had asked for a list of names with their age of all the trips the club had taken between the date of the assault and 2 weeks prior. She flipped through each list looking for any similar names crossing out anyone who was younger than 15 or female. For the most part very few people went on more than one or two trips that Serena Benson had been on. Lisa went through and highlighted two names that appeared on 7 of the 14 trips, it was Serena Benson and Andy Johnson. When she got to the last trip, the day before the assault she looked closely at the names on the list _Serena Benson 19 (Member) _was near the top of the list and it went down alphabetically, _Andy Johnson 21_ _(Member)_ she knew it, it wasn't a coincidence he had been lying to her, he knew something about what happened and he wasn't telling her. She picked up the phone to dial the prison when she glanced over the name just below him, _Daniel Johnson 20 (Drop- in)_. Her whole body froze, the cop side of her telling that she found a new suspect, the other saying it was impossible. Snapping herself out of her thoughts she dialed the DNA lab. "Hello I'm sorry to call, I know you're very busy but I was wondering if you'd had time to process the DNA I dropped by this morning…. Nearly? …. Would you? …. I think I have a lead but I need to confirm it before I move forward. … Great I'll be there in 30 minutes." She closed her phone concentrated on slowing her breathing, started her engine and drove to the lab. As she walked in the smiling lab assistant gave her a feeling of dread.

"Detective Madow?" the women walked towards her with some papers in her hand, "You owe me," she smirked handing her the papers. "The three DNA samples you gave me this morning all match in one way or another, A and B are biological siblings with one parent in common, and donor C matches as A and B's father as well as the semen stain on the clothes you gave us, you found your man." That last small statement made Lisa go pale. "So are you going to tell me what is so secret about this case?" it usually felt good to tell the detectives they solved their case, especially for rookies but this new girl seemed to hate the news.

"I'm sure you'll find out but I don't want this going through the grape vine until I talk to one person." Lisa turned quickly and walked out of the room, heading straight to the ADA's office.

"Casey?" Lisa said stopping the ADA in the middle of the hall.

"Hey you're Lisa Madow right?" Lisa nodded, "what can I do for you?"

"I need an arrest warrant," Casey pulled back a little, 'she's already solved her first case?'

"What evidence do you have?" she questioned, Lisa handed her the DNA and the list from the New York outdoors club. With both, donor: Daniel Johnson and his name from the list highlighted, then explained that the DNA matched the semen stain on the clothes. "How do you know this wasn't her boyfriend?"

"Because he has never mentioned her, has no pictures and denied ever going on a trip with the outdoors club, and hated the fact that his brother was apart of it for years."

"That's not good enough I can't go to crown with that. Find me more evidence to back this up, I can't go to crown with circumstantial evidencethe defense would tear me apart." Casey told her point blank, it simply wasn't enough proof. Lisa stood their thinking a moment. "Who are donors A and B?" Casey asked looking at the lab results again.

"Can we go into your office?" she asked, once inside she explained the whole thing, Casey; a bit dumbfounded arranged for the warrant and told Lisa to have him picked up. Lisa called the police and asked them to do it she had some business to finish. She got inside her car turned on the engine and began to drive.

"_Daddy are you my real dad?" the little girl with dark blond hair asked as the two walked home from school. The father looked to her confused with a slight smile._

"_Of course I am sweetie what would make you think I'm not?"_

"_I don't have the same last name as you," she said like it was obvious. The dad immediately understood._

"_You have your mothers last name," he answered as a sad look swept through his eyes._

"_Why?" she questioned innocently._

"_Because although you have my eyes and stubbornness," he said picking her up and swinging her around, he immediately felt better when he heard her laugh. "You have your mothers spirit and strength and you having her last name will make her spirit last forever. It will always be with you, remember that. That's the spirit I want to be with you, I never want my past to harm my little girl" He looked down at his daughter, she was all he had left to remember his wife, the little girl was relaxed in his arms, she looked at him with a scrunched nose confused by what he said._

"_I miss mommy," she rested her head against his chest almost ready to fall asleep, "why did the doctors take her?"_

Back then she had thought the doctors took her mom, she didn't understand what cancer was at that point. She parked in front of the precinct before she began to cry. This had to be the worst week ever. She took a few deep breaths to control herself, wiping her eyes she walked into the precinct. The captain saw her right away, and walked right up to her.

"You solved it?" he said a proud smile of his face. She assumed the DNA lab would call him. His smile faded when he saw her red puffy eyes. Before he could ask, Elliot's' voice broke through.

"Lisa we need to talk to you." Lisa closed her eyes she didn't want to talk to him right now.

"Not now Elliot I have to…"

"You don't have to do anything until you explain why you're acting so secretive." Lisa froze when she heard the female voice. She turned around and there was Fin, John, Elliot and Olivia. Olivia was staring at her, anger and distrust flared in her eyes.

"Olivia?"

"Detective Benson" she corrected. Lisa took another breath in to stop the tears from forming.

"Detective Benson, can I speak with you alone for a moment."

"No, what ever you have to say to me you can say to the rest of them." Lisa looked at the four pairs of cold, accusing eyes. She looked back at Cragen he nodded, god she hated this, she took in one more deep breath.

"Ok, the reason I've been so secretive is because I stumbled on a case I shouldn't have, but I was sure I could solve it," she paused looking at Olivia, "It was you mothers case." all four looked shocked, Olivia looked like she was going to cry and rip her to shreds at the same time. "I followed a lead, my uncle and brother right now are in jail for sexual assault, I thought it was my uncle, I took his DNA and compared it to the sample found on her clothing, and got a family match. I went this morning to prove my next idea wrong and ended up solving the case." Olivia was almost happy, finally it had been resolved, but one quick look at Lisa told Olivia there was more that she probably wouldn't like. Lisa paused once more gaining the courage to tell her. "Detective Benson, I solved you're mothers case. You and I, we share the same father." Lisa tried to stop her body from shaking, working hard to keep herself emotionless.

There you are hope you liked the chapter. I was certainly shaking by the end of it, it's not over yet though, there's lots more. Please review I'll post the next chapter when I can, should be in a day or two but I'm gonna be busy the next little while, I've got papers due left right and center, seems all my profs like assigning everything at the same time. Let's say I'll try and put it up by Friday.


	4. Dealing

Hey I decided to up date early hope you like this chapter.

**I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of their characters.**

Olivia's first words weren't exactly what she expected.

"How did you know where to look first?" Olivia looked dazed, shocked, confused and hurt all at the same time. A scan of the others told her this blindsided all of them. She looked right at Olivia, back at what first made her take this case.

"You're eyes, the Johnson family has always had unique eyes, and an intuition or stubbornness that we follow even when being told were wrong or shouldn't do something." She couldn't stop the tear from rolling down her face. She looked away towards the hall only to see her dad, handcuffed, being guided to the holding cells. That was the last straw, she let out small sob, looked back at Olivia and saw the information begin to sink in. "I'm sorry," She turned to leave, Huang, who had walked up behind her just after the confrontation locked eyes with Elliot and both headed towards the two females walking in separate directions. Both reached for their arms at the same time.

"I'm fine," the two female voices rang in unison, looking at each other they began to realize how similar they were. This caused them both to flee. Captain Cragen, Fin and John were all still in the room. John was the first one to speak up.

"Well I wasn't expecting that."

"Elliot I told you to leave me alone I'm fine." Olivia turned to face him, tired of being followed around.

"You're not acting fine," Elliot said as his protective side came out. "Liv, you're allowed to be hurt right now, but I'm not going to allow you to spend it alone." She sat down in the nearest chair and put her hand up covering her face as tears began to roll down.

"I never thought this would happen, it doesn't make sense. I always thought the man who raped my mother was mean, abusive, cruel, and violent, him and his children would amount to nothing because they were all scum." She said between breaths, Elliot patted her back trying to console her, this was as much a shock to him as it was to her, how many hours had he spent working on that case, and nothing.

"You thought he'd be cruel or you hoped he'd be cruel?" Elliot questioned, knowing the real answer.

"The pain he had in his eyes when he saw his daughter upset, her cares about her so much. My mothers rapist was a better parent then my mother." Olivia tried to hold back a sob but it didn't work.

"That's not true, Olivia people change you know that, no parent was better, your mother loved you, you turned out great, both of you ended up here, willing to help people, people who desperately need your help." Elliot tried to console.

"I think that's why I hated her so much at first." Olivia told him trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Why?"

"Because she's so similar to me, I had this gut feeling about her, maybe it wasn't distrust maybe it was something else, like subconsciously I some how knew she had something to do with my mothers rape, whether she or I knew it consciously or not." Olivia told Elliot trying to organize her feelings and sort them out, none of this made sense right now.

"Huang will you please leave me alone I don't want to talk to anyone."

"I don't want to leave you alone right now," George said as he guided her into a room. "You know people make mistakes when they're young, people can change, your father isn't any less of a father because of it."

"That's not what I tell victims, I tell them that he's a piece a crap and should rot in jail but the law is to lenient." Lisa yelled hoping it would somehow rid her of her frustration. Huang knew this was about more then her father going to jail. On the other hand Lisa idolized her father, he protected her and within mere minutes the only person in the world that she trusted, she couldn't trust anymore. "Huang how long did it take for me to accept the past?" she asked knowing he knew the answer, when he was her TA she began having panic attacks and visions of the past. It wasn't until she talked to him that she felt better, he was the only one, other then her father, she had confided in back then. "How many self-defense classes until I felt comfortable?" She asked looking down, her tears had stopped but her feeling of helplessness stayed.

"That was the past, what did I tell you back then? What doesn't kill you may reveal just how strong you really are, look how you've grown because of it? Look who and how you're helping because of it." George looked at her; she had become so much stronger emotionally and physically since he last saw her. Her mental age was much higher than her chronological age; she never really acted her own age, not since he'd known her. When she turned 21 she went to the bar with a couple close friends but lost interest right away. She stood up interrupting his thoughts.

"I really need to be alone right now, ok George?" he was about to protest, "listen I know you're worried, but I just need some time alone to think all this through, I found out just before you and the others. We'll talk tomorrow." She told him as she opened up the door to leave.

Olivia had managed to convince Elliot that she just needed to go home for a little while to rest and eat she'd think about things and would be in here tomorrow. Never the less Elliot insisted on walking her to her car. A door opened as the two walked by both looking, they didn't think there we any interviews being done right now. Lisa almost crashed into them.

"I'm sorry," Lisa apologized before she saw the faces of Elliot and Olivia. "Um hi," was all she could say. Olivia's eyes were red and Elliot didn't know what to say. Lisa sensing there was nothing to be said brushed by them heading for the front doors. She was pretty sure Huang would tell Cragen she wouldn't be in the rest of the day. Once she could no longer see Lisa, Olivia also left. George walked out of the room beside Elliot.

"She's pretty torn up and confused right now," Elliot said seeing George out of the corner of his eye, he nodded.

"So is Lisa, but they're both tough women, they'll figure things out." George answered, knowing they would have to, or they would both eventually break. Elliot nodded and watched Olivia close the door.

Lisa got home sat down and tried to eat, it was almost 4 o'clock it would be getting dark soon. So she threw on her running clothes and headed outside, a run always helped her think clearly. It was nearly 5 pm when she got home, feeling better she went to have a shower and eat something.

Olivia made it home around 5:30 she had planned to go straight home but when she drove by the park she decided a run would be best for her. So she parked her car changed in the nearest bathroom and ran a while before driving home. Sitting down she clicked on the TV just then her cell phone rang, looking at the number she sighed. "Captain I'm fine," she answered her phone instead of the regular hello.

"I wanted to call and make sure, I wasn't sure if I should let Lisa take that case, I had no idea it was in that pile." The Captain told her honestly, she smiled he worried about her too much.

"Captain you made the right choice, we are supposed to solve any case we think we can solve. If I wasn't comfortable with that I wouldn't have joined the squad. I just need some time alone." She assured him, then hung up the phone. At least she knew now why she was so wary of Lisa when she first met her. She knew she wasn't being paranoid but she couldn't explain to Elliot why she had been acting that way to her. She was glad case had been resolved, though it didn't feel as uplifting as she thought it would. '_I also didn't think I be working with the perps daughter.'_ She thought to herself, she wasn't sure how she felt about Lisa now, _'I know I have to talk to her, I finally found someone with a key to what I inherited from my father. She said her brother and uncle were in jail, maybe I do have a violent gene, it seems all the men on that side are in jail for the one thing I try and prevent in my career.'_ She was so deep in thought she didn't even notice how late it was, "how is it 9 already?" Olivia asked herself, her eyes were droopy and it felt really good to close them. She grabbed a piece of bread and headed to bed, _'mmm healthy dinner,'_ she thought to herself once more before drifting off.

**A/N:** hey hope you guys liked this chapter, it gets more exciting next chapter. I only started watching the show during the summer after a friend got me hooked on it. For the last couple of weeks a local TV network has been playing the season six episodes. I just finished watching the one where Olivia expresses her fears of the genes she inherited from her parents. It's a hearts stopping end, maybe I get a little emotional but I was about ready to cry by the end.

I remember hearing about the episode and it helped me with writing this chapter but I actually saw it tonight, anyway please review it makes me feel better when you do it's very exciting for me : ) I'll update soon I promise, but until then I hope everyone enjoys watching Conviction tomorrow night I know I will.


	5. Another Problem

**A/N:** hope you enjoy

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Olivia rolled over, hit the snooze button and moaned, sleepily she stepped into the shower. Feeling more so awake when the water hit her, she sped up, as she finished getting ready she looked at the clock, she didn't have to leave for another 20 minutes, she sat down. "I must be more concerned about this than I thought." She said to herself enjoying the cup of coffee she usually had on the road. Thinking about what she was going to say if she said anything. Would it be best to avoid the other detective for today or would it make things worse? A part of her wanted to know, another side of her didn't. Finishing her coffee she set the mug down and headed out the door, still leaving 5 minutes early.

Fin, John and the Captain were already there when she walked into the precinct, they all watched her walk in trying to figure out how she was. She smiled half-heartedly at them, "it's ok guys I'm fine, what are we doing today?" she asked sitting down on her desk.

"Same as the last few days, Elliot called, said he was going to be late," Don told her.

"Yeah he's just tryin' to get out of desk duty." Fin mumbled flipping through a couple pages. Olivia nodded and sat down to work on her own files. An hour later and Liv looked up to see the Captain walk out of his office looking slightly worried. Olivia had been waiting for Lisa to show up so the two could talk. He looked at Fin and John.

"Can you two go by Lisa apartment she's not answering her phone and she hasn't called to say why she's late." Fin and John began to stand up when Olivia stood up as well.

"I'll go captain," she offered, Don looked unsure as to whether that would be a good idea. "We need to talk anyway, we'll have a little more privacy there." She told him already putting on her coat, Don nodded.

Olivia looked down at her directions, apartment 315 she read before locking her car and heading up the stairs. She knocked on the door, "Lisa it's Olivia open the door." She knocked once more then tried the doorknob; it was unlocked. Walking in she took in a sharp breath, the place had been torn apart. On the kitchen counter there was a black tape with a post-it note on it, reading '_Detectives_.' Olivia's breath quickened as she looked for a tape player, they were getting to be harder to find.

"Hello SVU," came a deep, gritty voice, "quite a pretty little detective you have here,"

"Screw you," came a distinctly female voice Olivia recognized as Lisa's.

"I'm going to play a little game, we are going play find the detective or she will die, remember that young women you found a year ago, Emily Carson? Detective Benson you remember that girl, right? Bound and gagged after being starved for 3 days she bled to death slowly, from an incision in her left thigh. Quite a painful death really, now I suggest you work harder this time to catch me or it'll be the same fate for her." Olivia could barely hear the crying in the back ground but it was there. It went quiet for a moment before an ear-piercing scream rang through the speakers. Olivia quickly put the tape in some saran wrap and drove as fast as she could back to the precinct. Olivia walked into the precinct her eyes wide with worry.

"Captain we have a problem," she said frantically as she handed him the tape, her hand shaking slightly. She told Fin and John and Elliot who had just walked into the precinct to come into Don's office. Don put the tape into the player being careful not to touch it. Olivia left the room not wanting to hear it again. She instead watched the reactions of the others from outside. They looked at her when they had finished listening to the tape. She looked at them hopelessly, her eyes beginning to water. Elliot walked out.

"Olivia are you ok?" her asked putting a hand on her shoulder, she leaned in and hugged him. "This is not your fault," he said quietly, she thought otherwise. She could remember the case distinctly, Emily Carson a 20-year-old student taking criminology at John Jay College. This guy had a thing for cops, the poor girl, already small, had whittled away to skin and bones while he had her. He gave them hints, left clues and they still didn't find her in time. "_If only I'd been a little faster,"_ Olivia thought to herself, it was one of the cases that still got to her. The ME put the girls time of death 4 hours before they found her, 5 days after she'd been kidnapped.

A scream ran through the air as she felt a sharp burning pain cross her abdomen and jolted her awake. She shook her head trying to clear the blur from her eyes, she felt dizzy, she looked up to see the man who had showed up in her apartment while she was in the shower, he must have jimmied open the door. Now, she paused and looked around the room, she had no idea where she was. The pain made her cry out again as she looked down to see the black tail of a whip trail across her belly leaving behind red marks where ever it landed. Wishing she could move her hands to stop it, she couldn't even feel her hands they were tied so tightly above her head. She began to panic, memories, flashbacks began running through her head when she realized she wasn't tied to a wall, she was tied to a bed.

"I want every inch of this apartment swept for any clue as to where he's taken her, how he got in, and what he used to get her out." Captain Cragen directed the crime scene. The other detectives had gone to the neighbours to see if they had heard or seen anything.

"Did you know your neighbour Lisa Madow?" Elliot questioned the lady owning the apartment next door.

"Oh, that young girl that just moved in? Oh, she is very nice, helped me carry my groceries up the stairs. That boy she was with though, now he's a bit odd. I know what it's like to have a fainting spell but I've never screamed like that." The older women answered, Elliot racked his brain trying to remember if Lisa had ever mentioned moving here with her boyfriend.

"Did they move in together?" Elliot asked.

"No the first time I saw him was last night, I think they just started seeing each other, he said they met a bar last night." Elliot thought that a bit odd, given yesterday, he highly doubted she went to a bar and picked up some guy. This guys first mistake was being seen.

"You said something about a fainting spell?" Elliot asked.

"Well yes, that's why the two left in such a hurry, I heard a horrible scream then heard some rustling going on next door. I opened the door when I heard hers' open, to make sure she was alright, and he was carrying her out, they were heading to the hospital, she was unconscious, did something happen to her?" The older women asked concern beginning to show.

"Do you think you could describe the guy to an artist?" The women nodded.

"I can do even better, our manager installed security cameras about two months ago." She told Elliot pointing to the small almost unnoticeable camera in the corner. "There's three on every floor and one in the entrance. Elliot nodded grateful for the information.

"Captain, we have a witness that saw the perp carry Lisa out. On top of that security cameras were just installed." Elliot reported.

"I know, I just sent Munch to go get them," the Captain told him, Elliot nodded looking for Olivia but instead saw Munch heading back with the tapes.

"There's something sad about society now," Munch started, "at least 4 people I talked to heard a scream and did nothing about it, now the manager says he heard a scream as well but didn't bother checking the tape or calling the police." Elliot rolled his eyes, he'd noticed that too. Elliot called the hospital to see if she'd been checked in although he was pretty sure she hadn't been and he was right.

"We know how he got in," Olivia announced walking into the hallway, "we found some glass from her living room window that's been cut open, how he got there though I have no idea, we're three stories up and there's no fire escape there." Olivia paused, "there's also blood in her bed room." Olivia said quieter, the other three looked at her, none of them knowing what to say.

"We'll find her Liv," Elliot said reassuringly although part of him was preparing for the worst.

"We found shoes prints from outside the window on the ledge, it leads to the apartment on the left." A CSU walked up hurriedly telling the detectives, no one had answered the door when Munch knocked on it and the older lady was in the apartment to the right. All four of them began pounding on the front door of 314. No answer, Elliot backed up and kicked the door open, the place was empty, after making sure the place was clear they began to look closer at everything.

"Guys," Munch yelled from the other room, there was an open window leading out to the ledge the perp used to get into her apartment. On the table by the window was a note taped down. The others came in quickly, John backed off so they could read it.

_Dear SVU detectives:_

_I hope it didn't take to long to find this note, your friends life depends on your speed. How are you feeling right now Olivia a little tense, emotional? Think of this as me giving you another chance. You let that other girl die because you were incompetent, you weren't able to follow the clues. You weren't able to save your mothers life either; you knew she wasn't safe when she was drunk, yet you left her alone with no help, so you could police the fair city. You now have a chance to save another family member, if you're fast enough this time, your sister will live. _

_Adiós for now_

All of the detectives were quite; what did this guy have against Olivia? Olivia was staring at the note, how the hell did he know so much? She just stood there mouth open, finally she looked up at Elliot her eye were watery with tears. He knew her mother was a touchy subject even more so now. She quickly blinked the tears away, "I'm going to get this finger printed." Olivia said quickly grabbing the note with a glove and leaving the room.

"I want you guys looking at the old Emily Carson case, look for anything similar or any leads. I'm going to call Fin see if his search on the street has come up with anything." Don told the two detectives still in the room, when they didn't begin moving right away he yelled, "Now!" the two men jolted out of the room. Captain Cragen left the apartment slowly and called a couple CSU's to look through the place. He walked into Lisa's apartment. "Have you seen Olivia?" he asked a CSU near by after glancing through the apartment.

"Yeah, I just finger printed a letter for her and got a perfect print, she's running it to the lab right now." Don nodded and told him if he found anything to give him a call then turned and left as the other man got back to work.

By the time Cragen got back to the office John had already got a clear picture of the perp and was sending it off to the other precincts. Elliot was going through the Emily Carson case and Fin was on the phone with the Concord Police department trying to find out if Lisa had any problems with perps before. Olivia was nowhere to be seen.

**A/N:** hey hope you liked the new chapter, last one was a little slow but emotional it'll start picking up again from here while they try and find Lisa. For those who saw the new show Conviction, what did you think of it? I was a little disappointed that there was so little of Stephanie March and a few parts seemed a little unbelievable, like working for the ADA's office then leaving evidence in the court room during lunch. Question wouldn't the judge have to throw out the case, or at least all the evidence because the chain of custody was broken? Or that the judge was letting that drug dude goof around and insult the arresting officer, I realize it was part of her closing argument but I don't think a judge would stand for that or be almost laughing at that. Anyway other than that it was good, those parts just irritated me.


	6. It Gets Worse

**A/N:** here you go hope you enjoy

"Hey wake up!" the man in the cell moaned, he had just fallen asleep after not sleeping all night.

"What?" he asked half-heartedly.

"Who else knew you raped Serena Benson," the man looked up and sighed.

"No one but Lisa and who ever she's told. Why?" he asked almost bitterly.

"Because she's been kidnapped and who ever did it knew about this case." Olivia snapped, that got his attention he was at the front of the cell before she could say another word, fear apparent in his eyes.

"Something's happened to my little girl?" His voice panicked and afraid, "are you a detective that worked with her?" he asked, she nodded trying to slow her heartbeat, she nearly jumped when he grabbed the bars, she had no idea he could move that fast. "You're the women that didn't like her," he said simply, her headshot up about to stand up for herself but thought better of it, she needed his cooperation. He looked down, and was silent for a moment, yesterday Olivia was ready to scream at this man, now she almost felt bad for him. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly, snapping her out of her reverie.

"What?" was all she could come up with.

"I'm sorry for what I did Detective Benson, but please find my daughter." His eyes pleaded with her, she looked down, she was wearing her uniform jacket and her name was on the front pocket. She was at a loss for words, "please she's a good girl, and cares about justice more than anyone I've ever known. She's my life whether she hates me or not, please find her."

"We're trying," Olivia said quietly, "that's why we need to know who else knew. Who ever took her knew about the case, is there anyone who could have known?" Olivia asked putting up her detective face to hide her emotions although even she had to admit it wasn't working well. He walked back over to the bed and sat down, he looked back up at Olivia and shook his head. He watched her for a little bit, he looked like he was trying to find words to say but couldn't think of anything. When he turned his back to her she left quickly; she had a job to do.

"Olivia where have you been?" Elliot noticed her walk in, taking a pause from reading the case, he walked up to his distraught partner, she stayed silent. The Captain walked out of his office.

"John, Fin I want you to two to go to Daniel Johnson's cell see if he knows anybody who could know about the case.

"He doesn't," Olivia said flatly, "I just talked to him." Elliot gave her a concerned look as did the other three.

"Did he know who you were?" Elliot asked softly.

"It doesn't matter what matters is finding Detective Madow," she headed for her desk not to sure what she was going to do but needed to feel like she was doing something to keep the watching eyes of her fellow detectives from bothering her. Elliot and Don exchanged looks as Olivia sat down and began writing. Then picked up her cell phone to call people. After 15 or 20 minutes a loud repetitive banging echoed through the precinct.

**

* * *

**"Please stop," Lisa cried as the whip came down another time, her stomach was bleeding, it looked like a red and peach zebra from the amount of times he hit her. Her shirt was torn to shreds, it finally stopped. All of a sudden he was being nice to her, cleaning her wounds and bandaging them. Then he tried to start a conversation. She knew what he was doing, Stockholm syndrome she had done a paper on it in university, pain followed by kindness, he was trying to brain wash her, he was trying to get her to trust him, and it was beginning to work, she stopped fighting back.

* * *

The banging stopped when Don grabbed Olivia's fist. He looked down at the list she'd began to write, as she looked up upset. "Her father said the only people that knew about the case were the people she told. Well I've gone through everyone she told, she didn't say any names to the DNA lab, the tech lab or the officers who arrested him. The only people that know are you, me, Elliot, Casey, George, John and Fin. I don't get it." Olivia said looking at the list flustered, as Don was about to say something her phone rang, she picked it up before it finished the first ring. "Benson, … what? … What's the sign in name?" she scribbled down a name quickly. "ok someone will be by to pick up the security tape… what?" her face fell, "right …thank you." Olivia hung up the phone. "That was the DNA lab, someone searched the data base last night for the donor A and B for the case. That's how he found out we're related by blood. The finger print also came with the same name as the one who signed in, Toby or 'Tobias' Jimenez level 2 CSU." The information sunk in as all the detectives listened. He was one of them, that's why they didn't get him last time he knew how to avoid being caught. Captain Cragen was on the phone within seconds. 

"What do you mean he called in sick?" he yelled into the phone. "where does he live? … 3192 Lexington Avenue apartment 212." He nodded to his detectives and they were off.

"Captain, no one's here," Olivia said over the phone.

"Well check for any clues, he was also the one who rented out the apartment next to Lisa's 4 days ago." He responded, Olivia closed her phone and began looking around with the others.

"I found something," Elliot yelled, in seconds the others were in the room. Another note.

_If you got here fast enough you maybe able to save your detective, is it 6:30pm? If it's before you have a good chance if it's after you better hurry up._

They all looked at their watches it's was 6:35pm they were close. Elliot picked up the note with a gloved hand.

"What's that on the other side?" Fin asked gesturing to the other side of the paper, Elliot flipped it over.

"_25 1 4 19 5 14 4 5 23 15:11. 1 4 14 1 120 5. 19 5 3 14 5 21 12 6 14 9 20 19 9 14 1 16, 19 16 21 11 15 15 14 5 22 9 20 3 5 20 5 4 18 21 15 25 4 14 9 6 15 20 20 14 1 23 21 15 25 6 9."_

The number had been written on the board for hours and it still made no sense. Everyone including George Huang and Casey Novak were trying to figure out what the random numbers meant.

"What do you think?" Casey turned to George.

"He likes games, he doesn't care if he's caught because we already know who he is."

"On the other hand he doesn't care if he kills because he knows he's going to jail for life now anyway." Casey finished she had been filled in by Fin what had happened. Captain Cragen walked into the room, everyone looked so tired.

"Ok we're taking shifts, Olivia, Elliot you two are first."

"No," both said in unison, both had taken the Emily Carson case hard. It also killed Elliot that he hadn't trusted Lisa, she was only trying to spare their emotions until she found out about the case. It was Elliot who had decided to go and confront her; it was his idea and now she thought everyone hated her.

"That's an order," Captain Cragen looked more serious then he ever had before. "Some one will wake you if we catch a break." He added after seeing their expressions.

It had been 3 days since Lisa had been taken. They had everyone on the case, scared for the young woman's life. The Captain had been forcing everyone to take shifts to sleep, not wanting anyone to get to the point where they were no help, he needed everyone he could in this. So far they had had two officers on each apartment, nothing. They had looked up his background the only thing marked was that he had moved from Spain with his family when he was 10, immigrations had nothing on his family, they all died of natural causes years ago. He finished a degree in criminology at Argosy University three years ago then moved back to New York to take a year in forensics before joining CSU. It seemed everywhere they looked they hit a dead end. To top it all off the clue of random numbers the perp gave to them, still hadn't been figured out.

Captain Cragen walked up to George and placed his hand on his shoulder, "why don't you go sleep, you look like you've skipped a couple shifts." He said softly, George rubbed his eyes, it's true he was tired but he couldn't sleep. He shook his head. "Listen I can't order you to do something you don't work for me, but just because you have extensive knowledge about psychological states doesn't make you immune to them. You need to sleep just as much as the rest of us."

"Lisa wouldn't, when I was her TA we became good friends. She would tell me everything and I would tell her the same. One time she was certain there was something wrong that I wasn't telling her. She stayed up for 4 days straight calling people I knew, it got back to me the second day. When I confronted her she said if I wasn't going to take care of myself she would. She wouldn't buy it that nothing as wrong. The 4th day I got a knock on my door she had found out that my best friend at the time had a schizophrenic attack and killed himself. She is the only one outside my family and small town that knew before now. Knowing what she could be going through is killing me and like her I refuse to sleep until we find out what's happened to her." George said, his usual neutral face, showed as much confusion, hurt and fear as Don had seen in any victim.

"We'll find her," Don said softly, "alive," he added when he saw the uneasy look in Huang's eyes.

"The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that he knows so much about her, I've been thinking about anything he would use or that he could know that would help solve that number problem." George said looking at the numbers. He first thought that if he wrote out the alphabet he might be able to decipher what the note said but that turned out to be a failure. Once he was done this is what it looked like.

"_y a d s e n d e w o:k. a d n a t a e. s e c n e u l f n i h s i n a p s. p u k o o l e v i t c e t e d r u o y d n i f o t t n a w u o y f i."_

Olivia had been listening in, no one in the precinct had seen George this torn up before.

* * *

"Get in the corner!" the man yelled, the women cocked her head to the side. 

"What have I done to upset you?" the women asked hurt, she flinched as the whip came down cutting the bottom of her chin. She had learned not to cry it was a sign of weakness.

"You call me sir!" he yelled pushing her to the ground.

"Yes sir," she mumbled quietly as she sat herself up and crawled towards the corner. "Sir, do you have any food for me today?" her eyes wide a slight glimmer of hope in them as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Food? Only important people get food, nobody cares about you, nobody has come to find you. You are important to no one but me! I am the only one who cares about you." she bit her tongue as the whip came down once more.

* * *

**A/N:** hey every one, I hope you are enjoying the story, sorry it took so long for me to update but I had a hell week with both school and personal stuff so I'll try and update soon but don't be expecting on at least until Wednesday because I have a huge PSYC paper due followed by a couple midterms. I'll try and put it up on Wednesday. Please don't forget to review. 


	7. Spanish Influences

**A/N:** here you go hope you enjoy

"Can you think of anything that she may have done only once?" Olivia asked.

"Don't you think I have been?" George snapped, "I'm sorry," he said right away, "I'm trying, she used to write notes and e-mails to me all the time with little games in them but none of them like…" he trailed off, walking over to a desk. Looking up at Olivia, his eyes went wide. "I can't believe I didn't see this." He yelled catching everyone's attention.

"What?" Olivia asked walking over to him, but he was already headed towards the white board.

"When she wanted to get he mind off of things she would write me notes backwards. It only happened once or twice so I didn't think much of it." He began writing on the board everyone watching him.

'i f y o u w a n t t o f i n d y o u r d e t e c t i v e l o o k u p, s p a n i s h i n f l u e n c e s. e a t a n d a. k:o w e d n e s d a y.' he then began grouping the words together.

'If you want to find your detective look up, Spanish influences. Eat and a. K:O Wednesday.'

"It all makes sense until the end." Elliot said stepping forward to take a closer look. "maybe she's being held at a restaurant, KO maybe meaning knocked out?"

"Elliot, Olivia I want you two to search this guys past, schools he went to, jobs he may have had, any properties in his family, any Spanish shops, restaurants anything Spanish he may have come across, starting with places near where his car was found. Find out where this guy is." Cragen's voice boomed throughout the precinct and all the officers in the room sprung to action. Captain Cragen went through the rest of the precinct telling each officer or groups of officers what to do and where to go. New hope was felt for everyone working on the case, which was almost every officer in New York City. Parking enforcement had turned up his car yesterday, they had been entering every dark blue Honda, whether parking time was up or not to try and find him. George Huang had even called a couple of agents from the FBI that he had worked with numerous times to look through their database. Still nothing had turned up. George felt a hand fall on his shoulder.

"We'll find her," Olivia told him with a look that made it seem more like she was convincing herself than him. "We have to, I still have to talk to her." George looked up, so much had been running through his mind he had nearly forgotten the two just found out they were blood related, he nodded and headed to his temporary computer in the precinct to help them look. Elliot watched the two interact, both were set on this case for completely different reasons but both were still holding on to the hope that they would find her, and soon. Elliot couldn't help but notice the pain and fear in the eyes that had always been so calm and non-judgmental. He was always so composed, always a psychiatrist but not now, now he was a man scared for his friend, only it was more than that Elliot could sense it. Elliot shook his head it was late Monday night almost Tuesday the note said they had until Wednesday. He took a deep breath, this was the second RDK copycat they had come across and he was good. He tried to forget about the body of Emily Carson, but he couldn't, he didn't want to imagine the kind of pain the young detective was going through. He shook his head once again trying to clear it and took a sip of his coffee then began typing on his computer.

It was late Tuesday afternoon, Elliot and Olivia were wiping the sleep out of their eyes as John and Fin went to go rest theirs. Casey had been in and out helping where she could. Elliot looked at the figure slumped over a desk and walked over to the Captain.

"How long has he been asleep?" Elliot asked.

"About 4 hours, it's the longest he's slept since she's gone missing." Don said quietly.

"We let him sleep much more he'll be angry we didn't wake him." Elliot said, and then rethinking, "he needs the sleep." Don nodded in agreement.

"If he doesn't wake up on his own within the next hour one of us will wake him up." Elliot nodded and walked over to his desk. All of them were beginning to get incredibly frustrated none of them could figure it out. Elliot knew the lack of sleep and stress was beginning to get to all of them. Before Elliot could sit down Fin was back in the room looking at the message on the board.

'If you want to find your detective look up Spanish influences. Eat and a. K:O Wednesday.'

'9 6 25 15 21 23 1 14 20 20 15 6 9 14 4 25 15 21 18 4 5 20 5 3 20 9 22 5 12 15 15 11 21 16, 19 16 1 14 9 19 20 9 14 6 12 21 5 14 3 5 19. 5 120 1 14 4 1. 11:15 23 5 4 14 5 19 4 1 25'

"I may have figured it out." Fin said looking at the words closely. Olivia, Elliot and Don were by his side in two seconds flat. "Look at all these numbers, each one is separated by a space except for these ones." He said pointing to 120 and 11:15. "What if those stay numbers." He re-wrote the letters as numbers.

'If you want to find your detective look up, Spanish influences. E 120 and a. 11:15 Wednesday.'

"That looks like a time," Don said, "11:15 Wednesday."

What about the other," Olivia's eyes widened, "East 120 Street."

"Fin, go get John out here, you two can sleep in a little bit, I want each of you to take a group of officers and search East 120 for any Spanish shops anything and report back as soon as you find something." Don was trying to hide the fact that his heart was beating faster than it ever had before. Adrenaline pumping through his system, before the detectives could get much further he added, "and hurry we may only have until 11:15 tomorrow." With that the 4 went to find some officers to help them search and Don went into his office to look and see if he could find anything else they could have missed.

"Hi I'm detective Benson I need some information from you." The young women nodded, they were inside an antique shop on E 120th and 1st avenue, they had been searching for 2 hours turning up nothing. The four detectives had been calling each other for up-dates or ideas. This was the last thing Olivia could think of doing. "Have you had anyone who looks like this in the store lately?" Olivia held up a picture of Tobias, the women looked at the picture closely and nodded.

"Yeah he was in here last week, he's a regular, usually he comes in 3 or 4 times a week just looking at stuff, last week he actually bought something and he hasn't come back since."

"What did he buy?" Olivia asked quickly, finally she felt like they were getting somewhere. A strange look came over the woman's face.

"That's the weird thing he used to always look at our Spanish Antiques but last week he walked in and began asking why people now whip each other for sexual purposes, when 150 years ago that's how they controlled slaves and it was painful. I thought he was joking at first, though I was a little uncomfortable. I told him that whips you can buy for that purpose, they made them so it is very difficult to leave permanent scaring or inflict large amounts of pain. He began asking about why those ones hurt then." She pointed to one whip in glass casing. "I told him it was because of the way they were designed, the tip cuts into flesh much easier." The woman looked uneasy as she watched the reaction of the detective. Olivia cleared her throat.

"How do you know all that?" Olivia questioned although had her mind not been so foggy she would have figured it out. The woman looked at her strangely.

"Well I work in an antique store so know the history of most of the stuff here, and I'm African American, slavery is how my great great grandparents came to America. The stories were past down to me." Olivia nodded her brain barely registering what the girl was saying.

"He bought the whip," it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah," Olivia closed her eyes and tried to force the images that flashed through her head away, she didn't want to think about what he was doing with it. The woman walked towards Olivia concerned, "are you alright?" the question shook her out of her thoughts and she grabbed a card handing it to the girl.

"We'll call you if we need more," Olivia turned on her heels and rushed out the door her mind spinning as she dialed her partners' number, her cell phone beeped at her and died. "Shit" was all she could say, she looked around, the group of officers she was with were all dispersed. Looking around she saw a pay phone; this couldn't wait until she got to the precinct. Digging through her pocket as she reached the phone and put a quarter in. She rolled her sore neck; the beds in the precinct really weren't very comfortable. "Elliot, our perp bought a whip from an antique store off First Avenue." There was silence on the other end for a moment; he was obviously thinking what she was. As she rolled her neck her eyes caught something.

"Ok, Liv I'm a few blocks down I'll be there in a minute." When there was no response on the other end of the phone Elliot repeated it again. "Liv? Liv are you there?" he asked.

"Elliot, my cell is dead, call everyone and tell them to get back to the precinct now." Her voice was panicked and it worried him.

"Liv is everything ok, maybe I should come down and meet you."

"No Elliot call everyone and get them to the precinct. I found Spanish Influences."

"Don't go alone." Elliot warned.

"I'm not," was all she said before she hung up the phone ran back to her car, grabbed a digital camera, that she usually tried to carry ran back to the phone booth snapped a picture and searched the booth until she found an envelope reading, _Detectives RE: Detective Madow_. She grabbed it with her coat because she had no gloves and drove as fast as she could back to the precinct. The officer she was riding with gave her his cell phone, she called CSU and told them where to go. When she walked in she saw every officer already there, Elliot works fast, she thought to herself. In the front was George, Don, Fin, John and Elliot.

**A/N: **Yay I'm finally done my PSYC paper, it was on whether or not a child victim of physical or sexual abuse is likely to become a victimizer of the same crime. It was really interesting, I'll be so glad when the semester is over. I'm nearly done my diploma in criminology, thank goodness. Anyway I'll update as soon as I can please read and review.


	8. She has to be there!

"What did you find?" George asked, she turned on the camera and showed the last picture to the five of them. "He wasn't telling us to look up Spanish Influences he was telling us to look up." George said looking at the picture of the roof of the phone booth, written there with blue permanent ink what the words Spanish Influences, this Toby loved playing these games and it was driving every body else crazy. Olivia thanked everything her phone died.

"That 'a' in the clue wasn't an 'a' it was supposed to be a one, East 120th and 1st St." She told them frustrated, he told them exactly where to go they couldn't figure it out. Then she pulled out the envelope with her now gloved hands and proceeded to open it, the paper shaking slightly mirroring her body. The others saw what she was doing and stood in silence.

"You've made it this far, I'm impressed, I hope you found that last clue a challenge, one more and you'll find your beloved detective. I light in here is of many hues, but the gas down there can make you go blue." Olivia read aloud what was on the letter.

"Many hues?" John started "it could be a light designing plant." John tried to break the silence. The feeling in the room was a mixture of anger, frustration and sadness, they kept getting so close and then another curve ball would come their way.

"It could also be a propane storage plant, that stuffs hot enough to burn blue." Fin immediately regretted saying that when he saw the others faces. George had closed his eyes and was taking deep breaths. Elliot was looking down helplessly, but Olivia had fire in her wet eyes. It was 9 pm; they had 14 hours to find her and were no closer than before.

"Well why is everyone just standing here go and find out where any multi coloured lights are." Olivia yelled beginning to reach her breaking point, when no one moved she yelled again. "Now!" that got them moving. George had opened his eyes, Elliot noticed how his face was back to the neutral face of a psychiatrist. He walked up to Olivia.

"Why don't we go sit down," he said quietly trying to guide her to a seat; she brushed him off.

"No I wont sit down, not while the sick bastard is using his whip on her." She was almost in tears. Huang's eye's widened for a moment before going back to normal.

"And being stressed like this wont help the situation." He told her sternly, trying to keep calm although he was beginning to lose the battle. Everyone just stood still, still shocked by what she had said. Only Elliot had known he bought a whip now everyone did.

"I'm not stressed I'm working to save a life." She yelled at him,

"And you don't think any of us are trying to do the same thing? We are all trying to find her don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only one who has to talk to her." he finally snapped everything he was trying to hold back was just making him more frustrated. Casey, who had just walked in, walked right between the two and pulled Olivia away before one of them said something they would regret. Don took the signal and guided George to his desk to sit and calm down. He had not seen his detective so worked up, and to see George, the calm rational person on his team, yell like that he began to wonder what effect it would have if they couldn't figure this out.

--/--

It was 5:45 Wednesday morning everyone was beginning to lose their steam. It had been eight hours since they found the note. Most businesses were closed so they had to spend more time to looking up the owners home numbers for any lighting or propane plant. George stood up getting Casey's attention, she had decided to stay and help, if they needed a warrant she would be there to wake a judge at a moments notice.

"You ok?" she asked as he grabbed his jacket, he nodded.

"I just need some fresh air." He began to walk out; Casey grabbed her jacket and followed him. He got out and leaned against the brick building taking in deep breaths.

"We will find her," Casey tried to reassure him. She had only learned how well the two knew each other a couple of days ago, he looked at her, although it was dark she could swear she saw despair dulling the normal shine of his eyes.

"Everyone keeps saying that, but we're no closer than we were 5 days ago when she was taken. He's sending us on a wild goose chase that was can't seem to figure out."

"But we are closer, we'll figure out was gas he's talking about soon, you just need to hold on." Casey tried again to reassure him. "I'm sure she is." They had every cop in Manhattan looking for her, they had to find her. NYPD was staying quiet to the public the last thing they wanted was for a reporter to put it on the news and further endanger Lisa. Casey had been trying to be there for Olivia, but everything had been so crazy lately that she barely had time to make it down to the station. She knew Olivia was taking this hard. It was a huge shock when Lisa pulled her into her office at the ADA's office to explain the situation. Casey has sworn to secrecy until Lisa had a chance to tell Olivia, she wanted to be there but it didn't seem her place to tell the others.

She had seen the man who raped Serena Benson. He looked kind, caring, but it seemed like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders because he wasn't harbouring the secret anymore. She knew she'd be trying him and she knew whether she won or lost it wouldn't feel good.

"Hey man you have a light." Some guy walking up to them brought Casey out of her thoughts, with a cigarette in his hand, Casey and George shook their heads. Trying to avoid the stench of alcohol on him.

"Hey buddy, I have one if I can bum cig off you." Some other guy said walking up to him. George and Casey stood in silence as the interaction went on, George looked up trying to get everything out of his head Casey watched his reaction concerned.

"Hey wicked, blue gas, I'm getting myself one of these tomorrow when I get my pay check." The drunk guy exclaimed excitedly taking a drag of his cigarette. Casey and George's heads snapped towards the two guys.

"Where'd you get that lighter?" Casey asked quickly, the guy looked her up and down and smiled.

"I'll tell ya if I can have ya?" the second guy slurred, she rolled her eyes great they were both drunk.

"That wont be happening," George walked up in front of Casey, if the circumstances had been any different she may have laughed at the fact that she could still see over his head, "where did you get it?" he said more forcefully than Casey.

"The corner store," they guy said disappointedly, Casey looked at him oddly.

"They don't sell blue burning Zippos at the corner store." Casey said angrily.

"No but they sell Zippos there." He said rolling his eyes, "the dude only asked about the lighter." He said eyeing her once more. George was beginning to lose it again and would if this guy didn't say something.

"Fine where did you get the lighter fluid? And stop checking her out, she is out of your league." George said angrily, he was tired, scared, worried and frustrated and he was not about to let this guys hormones get in the way of anything.

"Jacks Specialties on West 57th" the guy took a drag of his cigarette and blew it in Georges face. George didn't seem to care though, he turned almost running into Casey and went back inside the precinct Casey right behind him. It was nearing 7 in the morning George noticed as he logged on to the computer, he was going to make sure this guy was right before he said anything.

"I'll be damned," George mumbled as the website for Jacks Specialties came up on his computer. He searched for blue gas, Casey looking over his shoulder watching every step. 'Coloured lighter fluid only found in Jacks Specialties,' it said along the top. He scrolled down not believing what he'd found. 'Red gas, 8.99, Green gas 8.99, Pink gas 9.59, blue gas, 8.89.' "He's at Jacks Specialties," George yelled looking up.

"What?" John was the first to say something though he had everyone's attention.

"Jacks Specialties is the only place in New York that sells coloured lighter fluid, one of the colours is blue gas." George explained quickly.

"Multi-coloured hues, that's gotta be it." Elliot exclaimed.

"I'm calling SWAT no one is going in there until we find out the situation." Don said quickly getting on the phone. Olivia grabbed her now charged cell phone and got ready to leave. The other detectives doing the same thing, Don gave them the order to get there but not to do anything until back up arrived. Elliot and Olivia were getting into the car, George opened the back door, they looked at him.

"Don't think I'm not coming." He said getting in, neither of them were in the mood to argue with that, so they got into the car and peeled out. Pulling to the side of the road Olivia opened the door to allow George out. All three saw the store in front of them.

"They must be on the second floor." Elliot said quietly walking up to the shop to find an easy way in. Back up was there seconds later, they were able to break in to the staircase that lead to the apartment up stairs. Most stayed quietly in the shop as two went up stairs to install a camera. When they got back down they hooked up the monitor.

"The room is on the other side of the building you can't hear anything from there." One of the men said. They flicked on the monitor and everyone gasped, right in front of the camera they could see Lisa in a man's t-shirt and tear-a-ways unconscious on the floor.

"Are we too late?" Fin asked fear shooting through him as he watched the limp body on the camera. No one responded, they then heard a noise nearing the camera.

"Get up!" came a loud booming voice and the crack of a whip could be heard hitting the crinkly fabric of the tear-a-ways. They would have sighed in relief that she was alive, had it not been for the situation. She moved quickly standing up.

"Yes sir," they saw her back facing the camera.

"Do you have any friends?"

"No, sir," she responded.

"Do you have any real purpose of being alive?" he questioned.

"No, sir." Each question made everyone watching the monitor swallow in disgust. What had he done to her?

"Does anybody care about you?"

"Yes, sir," they all sighed at least she knows that.

"Who cares about you?"

"Only you sir," everyone stared in horror listening to her.

"Go sit down," he commanded, Lisa nodded complacently and sat in the corner. This was the first time they had seen her face. Fin closed his eyes, the face was so sad, her eyes were so dull, and the muscle in her arms was much smaller almost as though her body was eating her muscle to stay alive. He opened his eyes again to see she wrapped a blanket around herself and the perps back to them looking out the window something in his hand. Everyone jumped when a phone rang breaking the silence. Olivia's hand dove into her pocket and picked up her phone.

"It's mine," she said softly as she flipped it open. "Benson," she said shakily.

"I see quite a few cars outside Olivia, have you found me?" everyone could hear him from the monitor. She looked at Don, he nodded.

"Yes, we've got you surrounded, now come down with Lisa and we'll talk it through." She said trying to calm her shaky voice.

"How about no, I am impressed you found me this quick though, much faster than last time. Do you remember last time?" he asked mockingly.

"Yes," she said quietly remembering Emily Carson again.

"I have an idea, how about you come up here and we'll negotiate in my territory."

"No," she said firmly, he turned around and they could see him smiling.

"That wasn't a question, if you don't come up here I'll shoot her." He pulled a gun out of his belt and pointed it at Lisa. Everyone's heart began pounding, then sank when they saw her look into the barrel of the gun willing a bullet to come out.

"There's snipers in position to take you down don't even try it." Panic apparent in Olivia's voice.

"I've got thick curtains up they can't see me." He said smugly, "if you're not up here in 5 minutes she dies and it'll be on your hands Olivia." All she could hear after that was the dial tone, he had hung up.

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'll put the next one out soon, I have two mid-term tests this week, blah I'll be glad when this is over. I'm moving soon so I'll try and finish the story before then because I wont have the internet for a while after I move. Anyways thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far please keep it up! It makes an author feel good!


	9. Why?

Here you go hope you like.

* * *

Olivia looked at her watch it was just after 9am they only had 2 hours to stop whatever it was he had planned. "Why isn't she fighting back?" Olivia yelled, fear coursing through her body.

"It's Stockholm syndrome, he's managed to make her trust everything he says." George said quietly.

"I'm going up there." Olivia said grabbing her gun and walking towards the staircase. Elliot grabbed a hold of her arm.

"I'm not letting you go up there."

"And I'm not letting her die when I can do something about it." She looked at him with sad desperate eyes. "Elliot she's the only one who can explain to me, why I am the way I am, what influences me, what my father gave me." Elliot sighed.

"I'm not letting you go up there." He repeated.

"He's right Olivia, you go up there you have just as great a chance of being killed." Don jumped in.

"She thinks no one cares about her, if she thinks someone else does maybe she'll fight back, two against one."

"But that's if you can convince her, Olivia she's been there for 5 days it'll take more than a couple words to change her mind." Don tried again, Olivia wouldn't have it.

"I'm not letting her die." She turned to the stairs again.

"Don't be a hero Liv," Elliot pleaded he did not want to be carrying two cops bodies out of there.

"If I don't try she'll die,"

"Don't be so god damn stubborn." She glared at Elliot, her breathing quickened.

"I can't help it I got my stubbornness from my father." She pulled her arm out of his hold while he was still shocked, and left before someone else could stop her.

* * *

They heard a knock at the door, Lisa and Toby's heads turned in that direction.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"It's Olivia Benson open the door." She yelled.

"Are you alone?" he asked nearing the door.

"Yes," he opened the door holding his gun pointed at her, she shut the door behind her and before she could react he pistol whipped her and she fell to the ground.

* * *

"Damn it!" Elliot yelled ready to run up there himself. Don grunted in disbelief. This guy had to know they were watching him. What surprised them all was when Lisa stood up.

* * *

"Why'd you do that?" her voice nearing a yell, he grabbed a whip from the dresser and whipped her. She didn't scream, she just sat back down. George who had been watching her the whole time spoke up.

"I don't think she's brain washed at all." He stated not taking his eyes off the screen. Everyone turned to him dumbfounded. "I think he's told her something and she's faking the brain washing to find something out."

"Why would she put herself through that kind of pain to find a secret we could find out later?" Elliot asked his face going red with anger at the fact that Lisa could be faking it all and Olivia just risked her life for her.

"This guy knows a lot about her, so he knows her weak point. He probably told her that someone else was in danger, and that if cops found out the person would die. That is enough to cause her to follow a long with this."

"Why would she follow along with something, just because of something he said?" Elliot asked, still angry with her.

"Because that's just who she is, she will suffer herself if she can save someone else, don't say that's ignorant or naïve because your partner just did the same thing." George said getting defensive, he wasn't going to allow Elliot to down talk Lisa. Elliot stayed silent and turned back to the monitor. "She is still very much herself, a person with Stockholm syndrome will most likely believe everything their capture says and does. Lisa stood up to him even though she knew she would probably be harmed because of it."

Everyone looked at him and watched as he asked Lisa to help him move Olivia's unconscious body to the bed she refused receiving multiple whips because of it. Lisa sat in the corner as Toby moved Olivia to the bed and tied her wrists to the posts. George watched Lisa the whole time; she looked more and more disgusted but still didn't budge. This only made George believe that she was faking it; there was something more to the situation.

* * *

Olivia began to wake up Toby reached for the whip Lisa stood up again.

"Sir, you don't need to do that I'm sure she'll listen to you." Lisa said, she got whipped for disobeying him, again she didn't cry. Olivia woke up and he began to whip her, Olivia screamed while Lisa sat in the corner and covered her entire body including her head with the blanket. Everyone watching the monitor cringed with every blow Olivia received. Finally it stopped Lisa brought the cover below her face the tear marks on her cheeks were obvious, though Toby didn't notice it apparently.

"Lisa clean her up." He ordered, as he left for another room. Olivia looked up at Lisa, pain evident on her face.

"Lisa don't you know me?" Lisa shook her head.

"No, should I?" Lisa asked innocently. Olivia looked away not able to look at her. "Let me clean you up." Lisa said as she went to the dresser to fetch the first aid kit. Lisa walked back and sat beside Olivia on the bed. "Detective Benson right?" Olivia nodded, still trying to control her pain with slow breaths. Lisa swept the hair out of Olivia's face tenderly. "Ok Detective Benson, may I clean your wounds?" Lisa asked opening the first aid kit; Olivia nodded trying to hold back the tears, due to the pain coursing through her middle.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Olivia asked a sob broke through her lips, the pain was just too much she started pulling at the bonds on her arms. Lisa closed her eyes for a moment, when she opened them, they shone with concern and guilt.

"He's only trying to do what's best, detective Benson." Lisa stated, as she opened up an alcohol-cleaning wipe. Lisa went to put a piece of rubber in Olivia's mouth. Olivia pulled back and tightly sealed her mouth. "This isn't to silence you detective, I would like to make sure you don't bight your tongue or wreck your teeth while I'm cleaning your wounds, it does hurt." Lisa told her, "I'll remove it once I'm done I promise." Lisa looked down at Olivia concerned and swept the hair out of her face again as Olivia allowed the rubber to be placed in her mouth. Lisa opened the pack of the alcohol wipes, placed a comforting hand on Olivia's shoulder and dabbed the alcohol pad on her wounds Olivia closed her eyes and hissed in pain as silent tears began to fall down he cheek. Lisa's breath was shaky and she kept closing her eyes trying to dissociate herself from the situation. Once she was done she gently wrapped Olivia's wounds and covered her with the blanket. "I'm sorry, you had to go through that." Lisa said honestly as she sat on the bed, she stroked Olivia's hair and tried to clam her. "The pain should die pretty quickly." Olivia looked up into Lisa's eyes, Olivia could only think of one reason she would know that, more tears came down her face Lisa tried to brush them away. Dabbing her face with a damp cloth to wipe away the beads of sweat that had formed on Olivia's face. Olivia winced when Lisa accidentally brushed over the area she had been pistol-whipped

"Lisa others do care about you," Olivia pleaded, "all of Manhattan SVU has been searching for you since he took you 5 days ago. Every Manhattan police officer has been looking for you, your father has been worried sick, please realize others care about you," Olivia tried.

"The only person that cares about me is Toby, I know that." Lisa told her, "does it still really hurt?" Lisa asked concerned, Olivia looked at her still fighting against her bonds she nodded.

"Untie me and it wont hurt so much." Olivia told her trying to make her remove the cloth. Lisa looked at her, tears began to run down Lisa's face.

"I can't, if I do I lose his trust and it will take a long time to earn it back." Lisa told her, doing her best to hold back a sob, it killed her to see anyone like this and she could do very little to stop it.

"Why does his trust matter?" Olivia asked, the two women shared a look, Olivia tried to understand the look Lisa gave her while trying to hide the pain and fear still felt throughout her body. "Please don't let me die." Olivia pleaded as another sob passed through her lips. Lisa bit her lip, her eyes began to water up, as leaned down to hug her, she whispered in her ear.

"You wont die, I promise I will do everything to make sure that doesn't happen. The only way he'll hurt you again is over my dead body." Lisa pulled back and looked Olivia in the eye to confirm what she said.

* * *

"Why can't we shoot him? " Elliot asked desperately after watching his partner being whipped for 15 minutes. Don walked up putting a hand on his shoulder hurting just as much as him.

"Because if we do we run the chance of shooting Lisa." Elliot looked up at Don.

"I don't care Liv shouldn't be going through that." He said fear apparent in his voice and his eyes beginning to gleam with tears.

"We can't risk Lisa's life." Don said trying to convince Elliot.

"Liv risked her life for Lisa, can't we risk Lisa's life for Liv?" Elliot began plead, Fin and John joined Elliot's side to try and comfort him and sit him down. George looked down and kept to himself trying to figure out why Lisa was acting this way.

* * *

Lisa and Olivia had been talking for a little while, Lisa was trying to keep Olivia's mind off the pain while Olivia was trying to make Lisa change her mind. About 45 minutes after Olivia had been treated and cleaned up Toby came back in. He grabbed the whip again.

"Sir you don't have to." Lisa told him, he glared and whipped her.

"Don't you dare be disobedient." He yelled at her, "now move!" he yelled at her, she didn't move.

"No, sir she will obey you, you don't have to convince her anymore." She told him, not moving earned her two more whippings. When she refused to move still he grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"You lying bitch, you said you trusted me but you don't."

"I do trust you but so does she, you don't have to do this to her anymore." Lisa tried, then Toby growled and threw her against the wall. She fell behind the dresser hitting her head on the wall, she stopped moving. The camera could still see her and George watched her still forcing himself to believe that she was doing this for a reason.

Olivia struggled helplessly as Toby then stared at her. She looked at what she could see of Lisa, which was only her legs, she wasn't moving. Lisa meant what she said about doing everything she could to stop him. She did, and now all Olivia could do was hope she was just knocked unconscious and not killed. Everyone watching the monitor watched helplessly as Olivia began to scream Lisa's name.

* * *

"Damn it shoot him," Elliot pleaded, the fear for both women at this point killing him.

"Elliot we can't, they can't see him. We're waiting for some heat sensors but that may take an hour of two." Don walked up to pulled him away, he wouldn't move.

"They don't have an hour or two!" Elliot yelled.

George watched Lisa, she was out cold, he couldn't see any blood so he hoped she was knocked out. He watched as Toby covered her with a blanket to make her think he cared. He watched and looked closely, he knew she'd been beaten severely but couldn't see anything because of the baggy clothes.

Lisa didn't move until a scream from Olivia woke her from her unconsciousness. Lisa knew immediately what was going on and winced at the thought.

* * *

A/N: i'll try and up date fast been busy very very busy anyway i hope you liked the chapter, sorry I keep leaving you with cliff hangers, I'll try and update fast but as always the more reviews the faster i update :)


	10. The Strength of Family

**A/N:** I have been soooo busy sorry I didn't update quicker but this chapter was an emotional drain for me.Anyway please read and review.

* * *

George sighed in relief when he saw Lisa's eyes open glad she was alive, Don noticed and began to watch her as well. She looked directly at the camera being careful not to move her legs. Elliot had not stopped watching Olivia and his fear turned to dread as he saw the man climb on top of his helpless partner and friend. Another cry from Olivia and Lisa knew she had to move quickly. She stood up trying to make her headache and dizziness go away, she threw the blanket in front of the camera so it was completely blocked and looked at Toby. 

"Toby are you cheating one me?" she asked trying to sound hurt. She almost broke when he saw him on top of Olivia, still fully dressed thank god. "Toby stop." Olivia looked at Lisa helplessly praying for her to stop what he was going to do. Lisa couldn't keep it up anymore and started forward when Toby show her his gun and held it against Olivia's temple.

"Make one more move and I'll kill her." He glared at her, she took another step forward not believing him and he cocked the gun removing the safety. "I'm not kidding." Lisa looked at him confused and shocked, he smiled. "I'm knew you were faking it, the funny thing is that because you were so naïve, she is going to be raped. What's even better is that if you do anything to stop it her death will be on your hands." He smiled evilly she tried a bit longer.

"Sweetie I'm not faking anything."

"Come off it bitch, there are no girls." Lisa's face fell immediately, and he laughed. "You honestly believed I had eleven other girls locked up somewhere starving to death?" he laughed even harder, then shouted in the direction of the door. "If I so much as hear a noise out in that hallway both are dead." He said looking to find traces of a camera in the wall when he didn't see one he turned and snickered at Lisa.

* * *

On the other side of the monitor everyone looked at George, he knew, how did he know? New feelings of fear washed over them all as they listened to the conversation since they could no longer see it. 

"Raped?" Elliot said quietly, dread sweeping over him, he felt nauseous, turning his face to the now black screen; he willed the blanket to move so he could see his partner. "Shoot, shoot damn it aim the gun and fire." Elliot yelled at a member of the other squad. Don pulled him away as fast as he could.

"Elliot, I don't like this either but until those sensors arrive we can't just have the snipers shoot through the walls at what they can't see. If they do they could kill Olivia and Lisa as well. He's got some kind of blanket covering the window, they can't see a thing." Don breathed he wanted to send people up there and put a stop to it but he was at a loss for what to do, he didn't want to lose those two women. What could they do? They could no longer get a layout of the room, and even if they did rewind so they could see it they couldn't get enough to plan, they had no idea how big the apartment was or the positions of the people inside it.

_Even if they did send members up there, if they slipped up and made the slightest noise both were gone._ Elliot thought to himself remembering the gun this guy had, it probably hadn't left his side. This guy had the advantage, he knew they couldn't see him, he knows that they're there. He wanted to run up there right now himself but he was afraid of what would happen if he messed up.

* * *

Lisa's face fell she couldn't believe it, he had her fooled the whole time, now Olivia was going to pay for it. She looked away not able to watch, trying to hide the tears from falling down her face. "Lisa," the man called, she shivered as she looked up, Olivia was panicked, her breathing was fast and she hissed again in pain as the gun was pushed against her bruise now becoming visible from the pistol whip, she cried out when he began to undo her belt. Olivia tried to kick him off but he was too strong. "Lisa, you move and I'll shoot her," keeping his eye on her, "and if I see you not watching I'll shoot her." Lisa breathing quickened, she was going to be sick she started heaving, nothing but a bit of stomach acid came out. She looked at Olivia, both women had such fear in their eyes neither knowing what to do. Lisa wracked her brain trying to think of something but she was panicked and her brain couldn't think of anything where Olivia came out alive. Lisa's heart was beating, adrenaline rushed through her and she swallowed the fear she had. 

Olivia looked at Lisa, her head was throbbing and she could feel the cool circle of metal being pressed against her temple. She started kicking, she had to get him off, this wasn't happening. _Oh please make it stop_ Olivia thought to herself as she saw her belt fall on the floor. _Kill him! Why haven't they shot him? Lisa please do something._ Olivia's body began to shake and she started to thrash against the bonds as he put his hands on the waist of her jeans.

"No don't do this, please don't do this." Olivia could no longer play tough girl, her breathing quick and her struggles doing nothing against his strength.

"Let me take her place." Lisa partially asked partially stated. Olivia looked at her past the gun still pushed against her temple not knowing what to think, Toby just laughed.

"Why would I want that?" he shot a disgusting smile in her direction, Lisa gritted her teeth.

"I wont try and fight you off." As she closed her eyes, he let a short loud laugh pass his lips.

"But the feistiness is what I like about you." He smiled raising his eyebrows. "Besides, I'm bored of you." He said with a scoff.

"Please don't," Lisa pleaded her voice shaky with tears running down her face, Toby just looked at her and laughed again, he knew how to push her buttons. Olivia screamed when he entered and Lisa gagged forcing herself to keep watching. Looking at Olivia completely at a loss for what to do, Olivia looked back, she had never ever thought she would have to go through this. Olivia cried again in pain struggling and kicking her feet. Lisa looked at Olivia mouthing the words, 'I'm sorry.' Eventually she stopped kicking tears freefalling, the two women kept eye contact with each other trying to forget what was happening. Lisa could still see the gun pointed to Olivia's temple and all the helplessness and fear she felt began to turn to anger, she was so tired of being helpless, she swore it would never happen again and yet here she was, as helpless as she'd ever been. Her eye contact was broken when the man began to laugh again. She looked at him, shaking with anger.

"Now I know how your daddy felt doing Serena Benson, I imagine it was similar." That was the last straw, Lisa looked at him furious, less than a second later she saw the signs as he began to climax. This was her only chance, fhe was distracted. She lunged forwards anger fuelling everything she was doing. She hit his hand as hard as she could knocking the gun away and she began using him as a punching bag. She was winning the battle hands down, she didn't even know what she was doing until she heard Olivia's voice in the back ground telling her to stop. Lisa snapped out of it, she saw Olivia's belt on the floor and grimaced, grabbing the handcuffs off of it she flipped him over and put them on.

"Captain get up here and take him." She yelled in the direction of the camera, she turned to Olivia as she opened the door. "I'll be right back, I promise." Olivia nodded weakly as Lisa opened the door and guided him out. Elliot was the first one she saw, she purposely pushed Toby in his direction, he pushed him back with a punch to the gut. "Elliot take him." Lisa said sternly.

"No I'm going to see Olivia," not attempting to hide his anger. Don was right behind Elliot and Lisa handed him to Don then stepped in Elliot's way again, he went to push her to the side.

"Elliot, she wants to see you to I'm sure, but not the way she is right now. My guess is, this last way she wants you or anyone to see her. I know I wouldn't, please trust me, let me help her back to being decent. Then I'll bring her out to you, she been through enough. I know you'll say it shouldn't be, but you don't know embarrassing it feels." Lisa pleaded, Elliot looked down he didn't like it but he understood, he backed down and walked with his Captain down to everyone else; planning on how to make this guys life a living hell.

"I know it's tough Elliot but she has Olivia's best interests in mind, I think that's why she covered the camera with the blanket, it was to protect her." Don said quietly ignoring the laugh from Toby, then looking back down at his watch it was 10:56

Lisa walked back into the room. "Where's everyone?" Olivia asked tears still rolling down her cheek. Lisa walked over to her.

"I told them to meet us down stairs," when Olivia gave her a confused look Lisa continued. "I didn't think you'd want them to see you like this." Lisa walked over to the bed, with shaky hands she untied Olivia.

"They saw everything anyway, there's a camera in the wall." Olivia sighed dejectedly. She grabbed her wrists trying to get the circulation back in her hands.

"They didn't see a thing," Lisa said pointing to the blanket that was blocking the camera.

"You did that on purpose?" Olivia asked, Lisa just nodded in response. Liv sighed in relief, nobody saw it, they heard it but that wasn't nearly as bad. She then looked down and something caught her eye the cloth, she looked at it confused, and then back at her wrists, there were no cuts on her wrists, yet there was quite a bit of blood on the cloth. She looked up at Lisa who had gathered her clothes and was handing them to her. The two caught each other's gaze.

"He did the same to you didn't he?" Olivia asked, Lisa looked away avoiding the question, Olivia knew the answer.

"Are you alright Detective Benson?" Lisa asked concerned, Olivia winced she remembered telling Lisa to call her that but now it seemed so out of place.

"Please call me Olivia." Lisa smiled, a small genuine smile. Olivia knew doing that meant more then what it seemed, Lisa blamed herself for this and Olivia wanted her to know that she wasn't mad at her. Olivia then got dressed; Lisa helped her to prevent re-opening the wounds on her stomach. Olivia tried to hide the pain she was in both physical and emotional. She stood up and took a step, wincing and almost falling down at the pain that went through her body, Lisa caught her before she fell to far and helped her back up. The women again shared a look as Lisa gently guided Olivia back to sit on the bed. Lisa brushed away the tears on Olivia's face, while Olivia collected herself enough to go down stairs. Lisa gently took hold of Olivia's arm and swung it around her shoulder helping her stand.

"You ready?" Lisa asked the dreaded question, neither of them really wanted to leave the room and face everyone, it just made the situation more real when everyone was fussing about you. Olivia nodded and they headed out slowly. When they made it down the stairs Elliot was the first to spot them, he walked up grabbing Olivia's other arm.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned, Olivia nodded. "There's an ambulance outside waiting for you two." He said, his eyes stopped on Lisa. He felt bad for her; he listened to her and Olivia's conversation while they were in the room. He couldn't imagine going through what these two just went through. He checked his watch, it was 11:15 in the morning, he sighed glad everyone came out alive, though part of him was still wondering what Toby had planned for this time. Lisa helped Olivia sit down in the ambulance then began to walk away. The attendant called out to her.

"Hey we're supposed to check you out as well." Lisa shook her head.

"I'm fine," she continued walking letting the tears flow down her face. Elliot was about to go after her when he saw George running in that direction, he turned her around and although they were maybe 20 feet away they could hear most of the conversation. "I'm fine," she yelled again, she just wanted to get out of there.

"You're not fine, what you had to go through is horrible and traumatic and you need to know it's not your fault." He said quietly so the others could not hear.

"It is my fault," she screamed back at him, "if I hadn't been so fucking naïve nothing would have happened to Olivia. I believed him because of my ignorance I believed there were eleven other girls being starved to death. If I had known he was lying Olivia would be fine. I could have gotten out myself and none of this would have happened." She was losing it, all the emotions and all of the fear she had hidden over the last five days was coming forward. Elliot looked at Olivia who was watching the scene, grief and sadness shining through her eyes. "Stop counselling me Huang!" she screamed this one louder than the other statements.

Elliot looked back at the two and watched in horror as Lisa grabbed her head and slumped to the ground unmoving. He ran towards them helping Huang carry her to the ambulance. Elliot jumped in and sat beside Olivia, George headed to his car planning on meeting them at the hospital.

"We have to try and wake her up," the attendant told the two. Olivia reached down and grabbed her arm, it was cold to the touch, she looked at the attendant. "She's either fighting a bad flu or hasn't eaten in days either way if we don't wake her up soon we may not be able to." The attendant looked down, he was sure it was the latter of the two, from the ID he saw of her he could tell some of her muscle mass had been reduced, she was irritable and she was cold all signs of starvation.

"Lisa, Lisa" Olivia shook her gently, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her eyes flutter open.

"Olivia," Lisa looked away, now afraid to look her in the face. "I'm fine I just need to sleep," Lisa began closing her eyes again.

"You can't sleep, Lisa when was the last time you ate?" Olivia asked.

"The… the day he took me." She replied slowly, Olivia started to cry again, Lisa tried to lift up her hand but the attendant held it down.

"You need to save your strength." He said quietly then went back to monitoring her vitals.

"Don't cry Olivia,"

"This isn't your fault." Olivia stated with a shaky voice, Lisa looked away. "Any of us would have done the same thing." Lisa looked back at her disbelieving then looked down as tears welled up in her eyes. It was Olivia this time that wiped them away.

"We would have," Elliot confirmed, Lisa began close her eyes again. Olivia grabbed her hand in panic.

"If I fall asleep again, will I die?" Lisa asked looking at Olivia, Olivia nodded and squeezed her hand, she began to panic when she saw Lisa debating whether to do so or not.

"Lisa you can't sleep, I couldn't bear it if I lost my little sister just after I found her." Olivia said as a sob escaped from her mouth. Lisa's eyes widened and tears began to fall down her cheeks. Elliot just sat in silence.

"Well I wouldn't want to upset my big sister," Lisa replied with a small smile on her face, "she's the only family I've got left." She squeezed Olivia's hand back.

**A/N:** There's one more chapter to this story and then I plan on writing a sequel dealing with the after-math and the trial and what not. Let me know if you want me to write it. Anyway I hope you liked the chapter, I'm sorry I had to do that to Olivia, I tried to write her as in character as I could but it was hard. As I said at the top this was a very emotionally draining chapter please don't hate me. But my thoery is that everything happens for a reason, my favourit quote is "What doesn't kill you may reveal just how strong you really are." There are many reasons I wrote this chapter and it will show in the next chapter as well as in the sequel if/when I write it. Please review!


	11. Through her Eyes

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up but I hope you enjoy.

I don't own the show or any characters other than Lisa,and I don't own "Through her eyes" By Dream Theatre a little bit of a song fic for this chapter.

* * *

They made it to the hospital a few minutes later. An IV was put in Lisa's arm to replenish her bodies' nutrients. Then was rolled to a more private area where they would do a rape kit.

"I want to stay with her." Olivia said when they began to guide her away.

"We have to do a rape kit of both of you," the nurse told her. The two women 's hands hadn't detached yet, Olivia tried to make herself believe it was to comfort Lisa but she had to admit the idea of being separated right now would probably hurt her more than it would Lisa.

"They can be done in the same room can't they?" Lisa spoke up softly. The nurse nodded, she had just been filled in on what happened. She didn't want to be the one to separate the two.

Lisa helped as much as she could to remove her clothes, though now that the adrenaline had worn off it was all she could do to stay awake. There was a curtain between the two women having the exam. Olivia looked over at Lisa, surprised by how calm she looked.

"You look like you've done this before." Olivia said trying to lighten the mood a little by starting a conversation. Lisa turned to her and smiled.

"It is easier the second time." The smiled didn't fade, Olivia's did, she was at a loss for words.

"When?" was all she said.

"When I was 18, I went traveling through Europe and was attacked in Belgium." Lisa smiled trying to lighten the mood. "Do you know how scary it is to ride code 3 down the streets there? The roads are so narrow I thought we would crash into everything we passed." Lisa laughed lightly. "I didn't even know what the official language was there." She laughed again, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling. "That's when I decided I wanted to be a sex crimes detective." Olivia tried to shake the feeling from stomach. No wonder this girl was so demolished when her dad was arrested. She knew what it was like to be on the other side, and to see her dad as the perp, Olivia didn't want to think about it. Both were given morning after pills and Lisa was rolled to another room to recover. Olivia had hesitated at first when offered the pill but took it, she didn't want to raise a child she knew would be a constant reminder of what happened. Fin, John, Elliot and Don all watched as Olivia followed the bed into the room. Never leaving Lisa's side. The two had been given some clothes from the hospital and it was then that Olivia saw the bandages around her wrists. A small scab on the bottom of her chin and a white bandage poking out from the bottom of her shirt wrapped around her middle that looked similar to her own. She sighed not really knowing what to say, Lisa looked up and saw Olivia's dazed look in the direction her stomach, she self-consciously pulled the shirt down and gave a small smile to Olivia.

Lisa had finally been given permission to fall asleep and seconds later she was out like a light, leaving Olivia with her own thoughts.

_She never really had a chance_

_On that fateful moonlit night_

_Sacrificed without a fight_

_A victim of her circumstance_

Olivia sat in the hospital room, thinking about her mother. She wished she could have been conceived another way and been raised by a mother that wasn't an alcoholic. Never the less she loved her mother for the chance she gave her by not having an abortion, and she loved her mother for being her mother.

_Now that I've become aware_

_And I've exposed this tragedy_

_A sadness grows inside of me_

_It all seems so unfair_

Lisa woke up to see Olivia sleeping, wondering how much sleep if any, the detectives got while she was gone. Her thoughts went back to her father, she knew she did the right thing. She charged a rapist, closed a case and helped another detective find closure, but why did it have to suck so much? Lisa would have preferred to have arrested him on bank robbery, anything else but rape. It just didn't seem fair. Olivia began to shift and woke up. "Hey," Lisa smiled, Olivia smiled back.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Better, how about you?"

"I'm fine," Olivia answered rehearsed. Lisa gave her a look.

"We both know that's a lie," she raised her eyebrows, Olivia smiled. "It just takes time to talk and think it through, it does get better or easier." Lisa offered.

"I thought the older sister was supposed to be giving the advice not receiving it?" Olivia smiled weakly, Lisa smiled back, Olivia grabbed her hand and the two just sat with each other for a while.

_I'm learning all about my life_

_By looking through her eyes_

George had taken over watching her while Olivia went for a walk she needed to get out. She had one place in particular in mind.

_Just beyond the churchyard gates_

_Where the grass is overgrown_

_I saw the writing on her stone_

_I felt like I would suffocate_

_In loving memory of our child_

_So innocent, eyes open wide_

_I felt so empty as I cried_

_Like part of me had died_

Olivia kneeled down beside the grave of her mother and put a flower she had bought down beside her name. She understood what her mother had gone through now, she was able to see life from her prospective now. Olivia feared this would rule her life like it did her mothers, until she had talked to Lisa during the exam. Lisa was so strong and it gave her hope, hope that she wouldn't be a victim of rape; she would be a survivor of it.

_I'm learning all about my life_

_By looking through her eyes_

George watched as Lisa began to cry in her sleep, his heart lurched in pain to see her like this. To imagine what she had gone through.

_**'"Mommy mommy come play with me." Little Lisa said she ran in from school. **_

_**"Not now sweet heart mommy's tired."**_

_**"You're always tired, it's no fun." The little girl stomped away. Her father walked up to her mother and lifted her disappointed face.**_

_**"She's trying to understand why you're sick right now Arial, it's confusing for her." He tried to sooth, she just nodded and smiled and slowly stood up to watch her daughter play.' **_

_And as her image_

_Wandered through my head_

_I wept just like a baby_

_As I lay awake in bed_

George was so thankful to have her back, he knew it would be another lengthy healing process but he had a feeling it would be easier this time because she wouldn't keep it hidden inside for nearly as long as before. He thought back to the second day she had been missing, he was devastated. He thought he'd lost her again for good this time.

_And I know what it's like_

_To lose someone you love_

_And this felt just the same_

"Please no," George heard her say before a scream erupted from her mouth. Don and the other three male detectives ran in, followed by nurses to make sure she was ok. "please no, not again Toby." She said quietly, still loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Everyone exchanged looks, all knowing what happened to Olivia was just a glimpse of what happened to her the 4 days in captivity.

_She wasn't given any choice_

_Desperation stole her voice_

_I've been given so much more in life_

Lisa had been released from the hospital that afternoon, Olivia had been in and out talking with a psychiatrist Elliot forced her to go to. Olivia had a picture of her as a little girl, maybe 3 or 4 when her mother was still sober, it had been laminated; it was dry out right now so she went and bought some super glue and headed to her mothers grave.

_I had to suffer one last time_

_To grieve for her and say goodbye_

She placed a dab of glue on the back of the picture and held it firmly to the stone until it set, kissed the picture one last time and got up to leave. On the other side of the cemetery she recognized a figure kneeling on the ground. Olivia knew it was Lisa, she took one breath and walked over to her.

_Re live the anguish of my past_

_To find out who I was at last_

"Lisa," Olivia said putting a hand on her shoulder, Lisa jumped and reached for her gun not expecting anyone to be here. When she saw Olivia she snapped her gun back into her holster. Olivia cursed herself she had been working with victims of rape for how long? She should have known not to do that, Olivia looked down at the stone 'Arial Madow-Johnson' her mother. "What else have I inherited from my father? Aside from my eyes and stubbornness." Lisa looked at her a little defensive at first, but when she saw the sincere look she stood and the two walked side by side leaving the cemetery, opening doors that had been closed for years, and finally start to make sense of things.

_The door has opened wide_

_I'm turning with the tide_

Looking through her eyes 

**A/N: **I'm soooo sorry it took so long for me to update but I moved on Saturday and I don't have internet yet. So I have to do it at school. I've already started the sequel so I'll get that up as soon as I can but it may take another week or so. I'll try and put it up faster but no guarantees. Anyway please read and review, also if you have anything you'd like me to focus on in the sequel let me know and I'll try and fit it in.


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